SoD Fan-Fiction Club - Announcement Thread
Our second read is...
Crossroads: A New Beginning and a Forgotten Past
Due date for this read is January 24, 2017.
Discussion thread has been posted. Please leave your thoughts on there! If offering critique, please make sure it's constructive!
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tracking! When will the opinion thread be up?
A screen edit of Tranchant Rouge made by the super talented Blackwolfen!
Tracking.
New read posted! Happy reading! <3
Tracking~
I have just finished the girl's story, or at least all that has been written.
Having an interactive story like this is something I had never thought of previously. Makes the story personalized to you while it might be different than someone else's experience. That's the thing about writing and reading if you can get something out of doing either of those things every time you go back, that is gold.
I love the story and where it is headed. I am very intrigued and cannot wait for further updates.
The critique that I have found is rather minor. Because this is a work in progress, I would assume there is not much time to go back through and proofread. I of all people understand this as I have this same problem. Dropping words that while typing them you hear them, but your fingers don't actually type the word. So some sentences can get rough. Also, dropping pronouns or using the wrong pronoun. These, in my opinion, do not take away from the story. The fix would be to go back through and proofread/edit your story. However, with me and how I write, I just want to get my ideas typed in first before I lose them. Then after I am done, I stop and do other things. Then it comes time to update my story and I continue on without going back and proofreading.
My constructive and major critique is that I sometimes don't know who is talking. When a few lines of dialogue have been spoken without a mention of who exactly is speaking, it is difficult to understand what the writer wants to show who is talking. Now, this does not mean you have to always have "he said," "she spoke," "they yelled," etc., but even in the dialogue itself this can be accomplished. If before the conversation starts, it is already noted that Hiccup is talking to Astrid (just for an example), you could do this:
While the gang was in a circle, Hiccup asked Astrid, "So, what is your plan for Krogan?"
"Well, we don't know much about him, so I propose a recon mission."
"I like that idea." <<< Don't have to say who is talking as Hiccup was the last speaker before that of Astrid. Whoever is the last one to speak besides the character who just spoke, you don't necessarily have to say who spoke.
"Propose?" interrupted Tuffnut. "I thought the boy was supposed to propose to the girl. Not the girl to the guy." <<< Now if there is a change in a speaker from the two or more mentioned before than it would be best to indicate it as so.
Astrid looks both embarrassed and angry at Tuffnut, "I'll give you five good reasons why you should keep quiet." Astrid held up her right hand in Tuffnut's face. "One... Two... Three... Four... Five!" with each count she folds her fingers down to make a fist.
"I get those reasons all the time from Ruff," Tuff replies. "But that has never stopped her from hitting me."
"You're right," Ruff said deviously. "Those are good reasons."
Ruff proceeded to jump on her brother Tuff and they both started to fight each other.
"Ugg!" Astrid flopped her arms down in frustration.
I better stop while I'm ahead, or I may keep writing this. XD
I found no major errors or anything along those lines in GamerKid's story.
I will read the boy's storyline soon.
This kind of post should be posted on the Discussion Thread.
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