Shrieks From The Shadows: Once Bitten, Twice Shy: Chapter 1
Hello, fellow Forum users. I have decided to try my hand at writing a story and, since it's almost Halloween, I figured I'd make it a spooky story.
With that being said, get ready for a good scare and, hopefully, a good story.
(First Chapter in post below. Please DO NOT DIRECTLY REPLY! Thank you.)
Very well written, Lack.
The only grammatical error I could find was:
...The "sole" high school...
You have "soul" when you mean "sole". Although, if you are going for a play on words with the setting in October, you could play it off as high school taking their souls. xD :P
Everything else was very good.
Now, if you want me to get technical, here are two technical things. Well, maybe just one because I'll backtrack in my own statement.
One, this type of story is a Fiction story, not Fan Fiction. Had you written it in the setting and/or with characters from Httyd or Harry Potter etc., then it would be Fan Fiction. Fan Fiction is where you take someone else's work you are a fan of and expound upon it. Pure Fiction is a completely original story, setting, and characters in it.
I bring this up because you put this thread in "Fan Fiction". It should technically be in "All things not School of Dragons." On the other hand, that too has a section of Fan Fiction, but not related to School of Dragons. So, it would be a Fan Fiction of Harry Potter or something because it isn't in the Httyd Franchise world. You have written a Fiction story.
I digress... Tow-mato, Tah-mato. IN-sure-ance, in-SURE-ance, in-sure-ANCE.
The second thing is with contractions. Splitting hairs here, in narration, it is typically seen to use don't, wasn't, couldn't, etc, but is fine in dialogue. However, I took a fiction reading course last semester and a lot of the fiction stories I read, they used contractions at some point; more so the modern writers. I do not use contractions when I write, but that is more my style and what I am used to doing -Because in writing papers for college unless using a quote or dialogue, one should never use contractions, at any point, for any reason-. Not using contractions gives a slight undertone of formality whereas contractions give an undertone of informality and everyday speech; your suit and tie writing and casual Fridays writing.
So this second thing is all just on style, less on unwritten rules or anything. I have just trained my brain to find contractions in anything so I find it in my own writing.
A bit random, but, have you ever heard of an app called Grammarly? It is a free or paid app to use (basic to premium) online typing to typing in Microsoft Word. As I am typing this reply, Grammarly is checking things in this post as I type. Basic Grammarly is free to use and catches a little bit more than Microsoft Word does, and is very helpful while typing online. The premium will catch all that and advanced mistakes. Because of college papers, I got the premium and wrote it off as books/software to use. But even the free version is good to use.
If I actually took the time to do it, I would put my chapters in my books through Grammarly to check things. One thing about Grammarly though, especially when writing books, you may intentionally write something one way, but Grammarly does not like it. If it is supposed to be that way, then Grammarly is being very technical in saying that it is not.
The biggest repeating thing it catches me on is I tend to write in the passive voice. No matter how much I try to reword it, it still says I write in the passive voice. Base on how the sentence is strutured, I write in the passive voice where it should be the active voice, and vice versa.
Still, Grammarly is a time saver and a great tool to use.
You are welcome on both accounts. I have a few fan-fics I want to read, a few by friends, and I keep putting it off. When I saw you made your own, I decided not to put it off any longer and do it before I would forget and put it off.
I rarely go to the main forum page as I live mostly on the homepage for my account where my track and pms are at, as well as the fan-fiction thread for Httyd fan-fiction, for obvious reasons. I also keep an eye on the new and active forum topics. Other than that, I don't explore the forums as much as I used to. Because I am on the forums as much as I check my own email, maybe more, I get to see a lot of the new threads that get made. Not a lot slips past me. Plus, once I respond to a thread, then it is permanently in my track to check on it.
I had a feeling very early on that it wasn't Httyd related, but when soul high school was read (because from what I hear, most public high schools "try their best to take your soul", I knew that it had to be modern day... Because that is one thing that vikings got right... Homeschool your kids. (I was homeschooled my entire life, so if you need any homeschool jokes, I have a whole truckload of them.) :P
No problem. Aka, you're welcome. >.< (How many different ways can one say "You are welcome."?) Case and point why I wanted to write a book that I would like to read. 6 Books and nearly 5 years later (5 years on January 14th, 2019)... Writing chapters with 2,000+ word counts made getting to the minimum word count on school papers a thing of the past. Now staying under the maximum or page limit is my challenge now.
With any school papers now, I write what I would like to read myself and just make it fit the requirements. Some requirements are stricter than others as if the topic and things to touch on are already given to me to do, but I still get to write it my way. As long as my style is grammatically sound and spelling is correct, then it doesn't matter what I am supposed to write, I try to have fun with it. Writing books has increased my writing and speaking vocabulary, just by using the same words over again even after finding the synonyms of the word. I have used a variety of words over and over again that I now use them in my speech. The word I find myself using the most is, "Suffice". Before my books, never used the word. Suffice to be said, I use the word all the time now.
Find a purpose or reason for writing anything, and then writing will become fun regardless of what you write for. Write your way and make it fit the requirements. Listen to what they tell you your writing should be. Unless it is grammatical, technical, or mechanical mistakes, I write what I want to write. I get good grades on my papers in college, so I must be doing something right.
Here's the link to get you started to research the app: https://www.grammarly.com/products
My professors for my degree do not use books for any classes. They lean on video tutorials, YouTube and Pluralsight, and lecturing and demonstrations of techniques to do the teaching. So, paying for Grammarly gets lumped into books that I saved on that I didn't have to get. You're welcome.
Thee is indeed honored to have aided thou. (You are quite welcome.)
XD
- Drums
P.S. One more thing about Drums (I replied to this after your reply on my chapter thread), the name has stuck so well I will respond to it in real life. If I hear the word in a conversation, I will say, "What? Oh." >.<
SHRIEKS FROM THE SHADOWS
ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY
By Lack Lunason
Chapter One
A Town Seized With Fear
The cold October wind blew softly through the town of Trevorston. It was a small town located in pretty much the middle of nowhere, sitting on the edge of an old forest and with a lovely view of the mountains in the distance. Trevorston consisted mostly of a neighborhood, but it still had its own newspaper, a diner, a graveyard, and even a school. Trevorston rarely saw anything out of the ordinary and the people living in it had grown used to the same old thing.
That’s why the town was exploding with conversations about the murders.
Discussions of the murders had even found their way to Trevorston High, the sole high school of the town and surrounding area. The narrow halls were abuzz with the sound of chatting as the students tried to make up their minds about who could have killed the three people in the past three nights.
At a table in the corner of the lunchroom, sitting alone, was a boy of fifteen years of age. His dark black hair hung down in his face as he surveyed the groups of students at the tables. His eyes, the same color of his hair, were darting back and forth, scanning for his friend. Finally he spotted his friend weaving through the crowd, holding the current issue of the town’s newspaper in his hand. The boy at the table raised his arm and waved his greeting, the sleeve of his jacket falling down slightly.
“Hey, Arnold.” The boy with black hair said as Arnold sat down and slid the newspaper over. He reached forward, picked up the copy, and read the title; New Victim of Mysterious Murderer’s Rampage. He looked up from the headline and made eye contact with Arnold. “I’m taking it you’ve heard the news.”
“Of course, Mark. I doubt there’s anyone in ten miles who hasn’t.” Arnold replied as he leaned his chair back. Arnold was roughly the same age as Mark, but completely different in personality. Where Mark preferred sense and reason, Arnold liked the paranormal and fantastical.
Mark finished reading over the article and placed the newspaper down. “So no evidence again. I don’t know who’s doing this, but they’re good.”
“Sadly, I have to agree. Each time, someone completely random is found at home dead. The only thing any of the victims have in common is that there have been two holes on the neck and the person has had a surprising amount of blood loss.”
Mark shook his head and muttered, “This is a nightmare.” The boys fell silent for a moment, both pondering what to say.
Arnold slowly brought up the one thing he had been thinking, but had been trying not to mention. “You know...the movie geeks have come up with a theory.” Mark didn’t make any sign of not being interested, so Arnold went on. “They think it could be vampires.”
Mark slowly raised his head from his hands and leaned it to one side. “The movie geeks...or you?”
Arnold paused for a second before coming clean. “Fine! I admit that it’s my theory, but come on. All the signs are there! The murders have been at night, there’s been two punctures on the neck, extreme blood loss. It just has to be a vampire.”
“Arnold, you know I don’t believe in the supernatural. This is just the work of a crazed psycho, nothing more.”
Arnold threw his hands in the air in exasperation, his wild, blond hair getting knocked around. “C’mon! It has got to be a vampire! You have to admit, it would be kind of cool and scary.”
Mark smiled grimly. “If you want something scary, we have an algebra test in ten minutes.”
The look of pure terror that fell over Arnold’s face made it look like he did just see a vampire. He jumped up from the table and started running. Mark stood to get a better view of him leaving. “You going to study?” He called after Arnold.
“What do you think?!” Arnold shouted back as he weaved between the tables. Arnold suddenly came to a halt and, turning around to face Mark, shouted, “You’re still coming over to my house later, right?”
“Of course!” Mark called back, “I wouldn’t miss it!”
*****
The afternoon sun shone down onto the street of Hummingbird Lane. The houses had a few Halloween decorations scattered through the yards or on the porches, but, since Halloween was still a few weeks off, nothing too special was out. On normal years, people would be out and about walking their dogs, taking a jog, or running an errand. But this was no normal year and most of the inhabitants had taken to their houses to avoid any unwanted attention.
The quiet that hung over the street was suddenly broken by that of a school bus turning onto it. The bus rumbled down to the corner and came to a stop. The doors groaned open and Mark and Arnold stepped off. They both watched the bus turn right and continue on its path.
Mark looked left for a moment. That was the direction of his house, but that wasn’t where he was heading. He turned and walked back down Hummingbird Lane with Arnold beside him. Arnold was presently talking. “You should have seen the look on Nicole’s face when Bill asked her out. But can you really blame her? Bill has always been a few players short of a baseball team.”
Mark wasn’t really paying attention. He was busy trying to plan out his next few days so that he could get everything done. He had a good amount of homework, he had to help decorate for Halloween, he had to get the house ready for his aunt coming in a few days, and he still needed to decide what he was going to be for Halloween. Even though the weekend was starting, it didn’t feel like a break for him.
Arnold turned and started walking up the path leading to his house. Mark paused and looked up at the house. He had been visiting Arnold’s house for years and he only felt good feelings when he looked at it. There wasn’t anything visible to make it any more special than any other house. It was blue, had a small porch, there were two stories, and a very tiny garage. But the people who lived within were anything but normal, at least to Mark.
“You coming?” Arnold called from the door.
A smile grew on Mark’s lips. “Of course!” He ran up the path, leapt onto the porch, and walked inside. Arnold shut it behind him.
“I’M HOME!” Arnold shouted through the house.
“GOOD FOR YOU!” A sarcastic voice echoed from upstairs. It was instantly recognizable as Arnold’s younger sister; Emily. As long as Mark had known them, he had known them to be the best example of what siblings weren't supposed to be.
“I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU!” Arnold shouted back as he threw his bag on the floor and Mark did likewise. Arnold’s dog got up from the couch and trotted over. The dog was a small, white Pitbull and its name was Frankenstein -a name given by Arnold.
Arnold patted Frankenstein and walked up the wooden stairs with Mark close behind. Mark stepped into Arnold’s room and sat down in a chair. It was a medium-sized room painted bright red. There was a bed in a corner, a TV on a table pushed against the opposite wall, and there was absolutely dozens of pieces of paper strewn across the floor.
Lifting up a game controller, Arnold asked, “Wanna play a round or two of ‘Dark Planet Settlers’?”
“Absolutely... But only if you want to be destroyed again.” Mark challenged as a grin spread across his face.