Private RP

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Iri

Iri sighed. "There wasn't anything to get, really. You just replaced part of a word with another word. It's like when advertisements say litereally anything is something-tastic and act like it was a clever pun." Then she grinned. "Well, I can see that at least my strict literalness is the same so far."

 

((A personal pet peeve of mine. You didn't really bug me much, but it made me think of all the times people do this.))

((I didn't know that. That's pretty cool. I thought it meant "part" or "changing" or something along those lines.))

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Rizzo

Rizzo rolled his eyes inwardly very insulted because he was exactly the kind of human who would do that (and just had obviously). "Goody." Rizzo said probably with a harsher tone then he intended.

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Iri

Iri sighed and looked around the junkyard. "Oh, my," she said. "I didn't realize we'd left it in such a mess! Look at that debris scattered everywhere. We'd probably better clean it up before Higgs notices. We can just take the whole pile off to be melted down or something, unless you find some things you could use."

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Rizzo

Rizzo looked at the mess. "Oh wow. You're right. I didn't even notice I was too busy thinking about the screw. To be honest Iri it's probably better just to melt that. If I spend time looking through it I bet 20 credits that the boss will come around in time to see this and I don't know what kind of answer we can give him if he asks what happened. Look! A few things even flew outside the fence! He wouldn't like that."

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Iri

A sly grin crept across Iri's face. "Well, since we both know you're better at climbing fences, I think you should go get them."

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Rizzo

Rizzo snorted as if holding back a chuckle then started climbing the fence. Once on the other side he started tossing junk to the proper side in a rather unorderly fation since a lot of it was somewhat heavy and aiming it while getting it over the fence at the same time didn't seem worth the effort to him. Once all the junk was back on the correct side he climbed back over to it back in a pile. As he did he decided to start up some small talk. "I know it's non of my business but I'm curious. Do you do anything for fun besides making sculptures or is that your only hobby?"

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Iri

Iri was sorting the rubble into piles based on what metal it was, but looked up at Rizzo's question. "No," she said. "Though occasionally I play Tetris. You should see me play sometime. What about you? Do you do anything, other than fix up junk?"

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Rizzo

Rizzo replied with a grin "Sometimes when I'm really bored I binge watch movies with Steve. I also sometimes just wander around the streets looking at things and thinking about things. If I'm in a bad mood thinking about things will get a little dark but that's just how many human brains work. Heh. If I could get arrested for thoughts they'd catch me and then never let me go because I'd be mad at them and thinking evil the whole time."

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Iri

Iri smiled a little. "Okay, this pile is all copper, take that one into the smelting room." She grabbed an armful of steel. "When we get there I'll show you which melter to put it in."

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Rizzo

"Alright." Agreed Rizzo as he picked up and armful as well though not as large as Iri's just because he couldn't lift as much weight off the ground with his arms alone. "Lead the way." He said.

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Iri

Iri floated along, leading him into the melting room and showing him the right melter to dump it in.

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Rizzo

Rizzo cussed and dropped his load then he put on his welding helmet and only then did he pick his load up again to put it in. "I should've expected it to be bright. That was dumb on my part." He said. 

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Iri

Iri shrugged. "You think that's bright? Man, am I glad I'm not a human."

 

((Cue Rizzo taking a crack at her for starting to become human.))

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Rizzo

((That is 100% definitely like Rizzo. You didn't even have to ask. XD))

 

 

"Um....Werehuman?" Rizzo pointed out. He grabbed Iri's arm and held it up to further his point before letting go.

 

 

 

 

((Yup. He's using the word Iri bashed as being a dumb way to try and make a joke. He knows exactly what he's doing too.))

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"I am not a 'werehuman'!" Iri

"I am not a 'werehuman'!" Iri protested. "That's a stupid name, and anyway I'm not changing back and forth, I'm just going towards humanness."

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Rizzo

"How do you know?" Rizzo asked. "You could just be a really slow changer. A molasses werehuman if you will." A slight chuckle hinted that he found ether his so awful it's not even wordplay wordplay funny or Iri's reaction to be funny.

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Iri

Iri decided that annoyance would only encourage him, so she feigned ignorance. "Human logic still doesn't make sense to me," she said. "Your actions suggest that you made a wordplay, but you didn't. That behavior is illogical. Is this a common human trait? Can you explain it to me?"

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Rizzo

Rizzo rolled his eyes then said "Yes screenface. It's a common human trait. In fact I dare say it's so common it's one of the main reasons lots of AIs don't like humans. It's part of what makes us so random and so scarily unpredictable. But then you probably already knew that didn't you?"

 

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Iri

Iri rolled her own eyes right back. "No, I didn't know that humans laugh at jokes that aren't only not funny, they're so lame they're not even jokes at all!"

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Rizzo

Rizzo grinned "You ain't seen nothing yet Iri. My brain is like a generator for these things. Manny of my actual jokes are on around the same level too. For example. What's brown and sticky?"

 

 

((Purposeful bad grammar is purposeful))

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Iri

Iri chose to ignore "You ain't seen nothing yet" and focus on the question. "Um, molasses? Maple syrup? No, wait! Wood glue!"

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Rizzo

"A stick." Rizzo answered with his foxish grin very visible.

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Iri

Iri groaned and glided out of the smeltery to grab another handful, regarding to ignore Rizzo. Surely if she didn't respond he'd stop... right?

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Rizzo

Rizzo followed her to pick up another handful himself. As they turned back to walk to the smelter Rizzo said "Hey Iri. What's black and white and red all over?" 

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Iri

Iri continued to ignore him. They entered the smelting room and she gestured to where he needed to dump his armful.

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Rizzo

Rizzo dumped the armful but continued his joke even though Iri gave him no cue to continue. "Hey Iri. Iri. You know what's white and black and red all over? A embarrassed penguin, Zebra or a sunburned ether of those two animals. You see there's multiple versions of that one. We humans liked it SOOOO much it just had to be copied."

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Iri

Iri rolled her eyes. "Actually, the original version is a newspaper, and it's the only one that's actually remotely funny. Boy, I hope if I become human I won't become such an idiot."

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Rizzo

"Wait. Why is the newspaper funny?" Rizzo asked. Too confused to notice that Iri just kind of called him an idiot he continued "At least the zebra and penguin are animals that could get sunburned or maybe blush if the blood vessels in their faces worked like a human's. Newspapers just fade in sunlight. Does someone like, drop paint on it in that version or what?"

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Iri

"It's a pun on the word read," Iri informed him. "Anti-jokes only work if you're expecting something that would actually be a joke to begin with."

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Rizzo

"Oh. Read all over." Rizzo said. He chuckled "I get it now. But if you have to explain the joke doesn't that ruin it? Or at the very least take the punch out of it?"

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Iri

Iri sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, for people with a reasonable level of intelligence, you don't have to explain it."

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Rizzo

((Iri isn't the only one who is snapping h.arder then they meant too. Iri hit kind of a sore spot for Rizzo))

"Ah yes. Humans are stuped. Humans are dumb. Humans can't do complex math in their heads! They aren't as strong they aren't as fast they can't automatically figure out a joke that you DIDN'T ACTUALLY SET UP AND TELL!!!!! They're a lot more difficult to get without the set up you know! Read like with a book sounds exactly like the color and I was talking about the color and you started talking about the book without any indication that the topic had switched but then again what kind of indication am I expecting!? People switch words all the time and you're just suppose to KNOW that it switched and this stuped system was made by MY race because we invented the language and it makes NO SENSE and it adds evidence to the idea that humans are stuped because EVERYTHING adds evidence to the idea that humans are stuped because we ARE $#^%$ STUPED but not in all the ways! People just assume if you're stuped in one way or even most ways your stuped in all the ways and there's no way to escape it because some humans are stuped in ways other humans are smart and why would you let a human build a car if we've been known to crash them! Why would you trust their judgment if humans have been known to literally k.ill themselves for fun! Why would you believe what you say if every human ever has lied at some point even if it's just to keep their friend from knowing you think their pants make them look fat!"

 

It became clear very quickly that Rizzo was only talking to Iri at the beginning of his rant. Most of the way after that he wasn't even looking at her but instead seemed to be yelling no one or everyone. His arms flailed wildly in the air like he had gone completely bonkers.

 

 

 

((I as an out of character moment sincerely apologize to both you and Iri ahead of time (as in before Rizzo apologizes) for this freak out. I bet neither of you were expecting this. Fair warning. It may or may not get worse before it gets better))

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Iri

Iri blinked a few times. "Um- I didn't- uh-" She was supposed to think quickly, but right now her mind seemed to have completely shorted out. What on earth would make Rizzo feel better? "I-" she started again, but she had no idea where she had expected that sentence to go.

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Rizzo

Rizzo said something about humans being animals and was now doing an awful imitation that mixed several apes and monkeys together. He did the monkey oo ohh ah ah thing but beat his chest like a guerrilla then he ran out of the smelter room (with his arm out like a chimp or an orangutan) where he started climbing garbage piles where he continued his horrible animal imitation and started randomly throwing things random directions.

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Iri

"Um... Rizzo?" Iri asked uncertainly, following him, but at a distance. She didn't want to get hit by one of those flying objects now that she had a sense of touch. "Are- are you okay?"

 

((Starting to remind me of Party of One here...))

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Rizzo

((Oh ya. Rizzo is definitely having a bit of a mental breakdown))

 

Rizzo paused and turned to Iri. He was breathing heavily as some of the things he had thrown were just as heavy as his breathing implied. "Me? Ok? Oh I'm totally ok. I'm 100% positively extremely ok. Why do you ask?" Said Rizzo. The tone in his voice and the speed at which he spoke suggested he was NOT ok.

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Iri

Iri paused for a moment, still uncertain what to say. This was so not her area of expertise. Part of her wanted to say, "Rizzo, humans can do lots of stuff robots can't, you're not stupid," but part of her thought that with the unpredictability he was acting with, that might just make it worse. So instead she said, "Well, okay, then I'll just... take this pile of stuff back to the melting room," and scooped up an armful of metal. Maybe once she was there she could take a few deep breaths, clear her head a bit, and do some research to figure out what was wrong with him.

 

((When Iri panics her mind starts to blank out and not function right, just like a human.))

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Rizzo

"Yup. Just block all the emotion out and do your job. Another thing humans are stuped at." Rizzo grumbled. He kicked something that flew way farther than he expected and there was a loud crash. Rizzo cringed while realizing he had to check out what he just broke. What he saw when he closed that distance was exactly the worst thing the hunk of kicked metal could have possibly hit in the entire junkyard. Iri's dragon statue. Worse still the projectile had knocked one of the wings off of it. It's safe to say the human wasn't angry anymore. Now he was horrified. He knew how much Iri's sculptures meant to her and he was sure she would take this very badly. Could he fix it before she noticed? No she would definitely notice the repair even if he did plus it seemed kind of weird to mess with Iri's sculpture. His fixing it would surely change it some and that felt wrong. It was Iri's art. Not his. But still he couldn't leave it broken could he? That had to be worse. Rizzo stood there holding the broken off dragon wing wondering what to do.

 

 

 

 

((I wanted him to mess up REALLY badly so the apology means more))

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Iri

Iri had gotten herself calmed down and decided that, just like for a human, panic had made her mind completely shut down. Now that she was calmer, she was at her normal thinking speed, and she should be able to be able to figure out how to help Rizzo.

As she strode out of the building, though, she saw him standing next to her dragon statue, holding the wing, which was completely off of the sculpture. No! There was a line between throwing things around and breaking something she had worked so censored!

She started gliding forward in a fury. Looking down, she saw that her hand still shot welding flames, though apparently it could be triggered without her realizing now. She didn't even care. "How dare you?" she screamed. "HOW DARE YOU? I know you were upset, but I spent DAYS on that! I slaved away on it for hours on end! And YOU BROKE IT?!?!?" The multiple exclamation points were actually audible in her voice.

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Rizzo

Already stressed from knowing Iri was going to be upset seeing her with flames coming out of her arm was not a help to Rizzo's mental state any more than seeing Rizzo next to the broken statue was to Iri's. "I-I was just-" He stuttered. Unable to form coherent sentences through his guilt and suprize.

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Iri

Iri reached Rizzo and was suddenly aware that she had charged at him without thinking and now she wasn't sure what to do. Part of her wanted to hit him, even to burn him with her flames, but part of her knew she would regret it afterwards. Instead, she hesitated for a moment, then turned around and darted off. A sob was distinctly audible as she slammed the door of the melting room.

 

((Awkward...))

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Rizzo blinked. Too shocked to say anything (not that Iri would here him from that distance anyway) before looking down at the wing in his hands. What could he do about this? Was there anything he could do about this? Rizzo wasn't sure. In fact he was more then half sure that even if the statue was fixed Iri's feelings couldn't be. With a sigh he set down the wing at the base of the statue then pulled a sheet of metal out of one of the surrounding garbage piles. He used this sheet of metal to leave a message via burning it into the surface with his own welder. The note said "I know you probably won't believe me if I say I didn't do it on purpose. So I'll just say I'm sorry and that you don't ever have to see me again if you don't want to.

P.S. I'm buying the jetpack for you. You can keep it or destroy it or whatever makes you feel better. I know people don't use tangible credits that often anymore but that's what I have. You'll find them under the jetpack's wing where they won't blow away.

Your stuped human, Rizzo."

Rizzo placed the money under the wing of the jetpack like he said and leaned the metal note against the statue beside the broken wing before heading home. He knew even if Iri forgave him she probably wouldn't want to talk to him for at least a day so he told Steve and Dave not to talk to him ether and shut himself in his room.

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Iri

Apparently, being a human and having their emotions stinks.

Iri had sobbed on the floor for a long time, though she couldn't cry actual tears, of course. Finally she got up and came back out to keep doing her job. She saw Rizzo's note and realized it must have been an accident, but still couldn't muster herself to forgive him, even when she saw how clean the break was and how she could fix it in only fifteen minutes or so. Somehow, even though everything seemed all right again, she still felt miserable. This mood lasted all day as she finished her job and went home (on a train as usual--somehow even the jetpack had lost its appeal). She only hoped, as she powered down for the night, that a little sleep would help. Wasn't that what humans always said?

((This has happened to me. Every time I get really upset, I feel terrible for the rest of the day.))

Fortunately, the next morning Iri felt much more cheerful again. She picked up the backpack and slung it over her arms, then turned it on and went swooping into the air, grinning widely. She could see her work, she could see all the way into the next city! But she had one stop to make first.

Carefully, she steered the jetpack and landed in front of Rizzo's door, knocking tentatively. "Hello?"

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Rizzo

Rizzo tentatively opened the door just enough to see who it was. "Oh um.....Hi Iri. Listen, about yesterday.....I." He paused for a second then said way faster than necessary "I didn't mean to break the statue. I kicked a thingy and it flung all the way to the one thing that was not ok to break in the whole junkyard and I didn't know if I should fix it or let you fix it or if you would be more mad if I did fix it or.....anyway even not counting that I shouldn't have even had a meltdown in the first place and it was a really bad thing to do cuz I started it in the first place with my bad jokes and...well." Rizzo paused again. This time when he spoke his voice had slowed to normal speed. "I'm sorry. ....And...I wouldn't blame you if you're still mad. I wouldn't blame you if you never forgave me ether. You were right. About that moment at least. In that moment I was stuped." Rizzo raised both hands and let them fall back to his sides when he said that last bit almost like a half hearted shrug without the actual shrug but it seemed to be at himself more than anything.

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Iri

Iri hesitated uncertainly while Rizzo said everything, her hands held awkwardly behind her bakc. Not because she was hiding something, that was just where they ended up. When he finished, she looked at the ground for a few moments, then abruptly lunged forwards and hugged him. "I never should have even thought you'd done it deliberately! Obviously you would never do something like that no matter how weird and out of it you were. I'm sorry I yelled at you, and I'm going to pay you back for the jetpack." She pulled the money out of her chest pocket which thankfully hadn't closed quite yet, though it was getting a little stiff, and pressed it into his hands.

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Rizzo stared at Iri for a few seconds then he looked at the money in his hands then back to Iri again. Despite all his willpower he started to tear up. "My turn." He said before throwing his own arms around Iri for a few seconds. Once he let go he looked at the money in his hand again and told Iri "You didn't have to give this back you know."

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Iri

((I know you don't like romance but I ship it))

 

"I know," Iri said, "and you didn't have to buy it for me either."

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((Actually even though I flat out hate romance I'd totally ship it too. Not the kissy physical stuff obviously but yes to the the relationship stuff that close friends could do just the same as couples. I could see them going to the movies and having dinner together. That kind of stuff. I might even consider it....cute (throws up in mouth a little) sorry I just never expected I'd be saying that.))

 

 

Rizzo shrugged and said "When I broke your creation I thought of breaking mine too to make it fair but then I thought that doing that might make things worse so I did this instead." Suddenly a voice from in the house said "So is this why you were in your room all day yesterday?" When Rizzo turned to reply the voice was revealed to be Dave who was standing some distance behind Rizzo and eating a sandwhich. Rizzo told him "None of your business. Have you been hanging out with Steve too much or something?"

"Steve was worried about you." Dave replied before taking another bite out of his sandwhich. Rizzo rolled his eyes before turning them back towards Iri and telling her "Dave's still here as you can see. His place is taking a while to clean up." 

"Sorry for the interruption." Said Dave who continued "Just pretend I'm not here."

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((Hee hee... yes, they totally should.))

 

Iri looked over at Dave. "Well, okay, if you say so!" She knew that wasn't what he actually meant, but robots were notoriously literal-minded. "So, you'd better come back in today," she added to Rizzo.

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Rizzo asked "Really? I'm not fired for making a mess or something?"