Post Your Funny Stories!

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The Dragoness's picture
The Dragoness
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Chief
Joined: 09/06/2017

So, this thread is based on a suggestion jeniemkitty made to me. Here, you can post AAAALLL the funny stories that you've either heard or been through. Here are my two bits: 

 

Once upon a time--haha! Just kidding! So, this last Girls Camp, one of the activities was horse riding. Naturally, i was very excited. When my turn finally came, i was so excited, and very confident that it would be a piece of cake. (If this story is ringing a bell, good. I told you a little bit of it before. But it gets much better)

We were inside this fenced-in area, though the fence was low enough that a horse could probably jump it. We were supposed to walk the horses around, then kick them into a trot. The walk was no problem, but when i tried to kick the horse (gently) into a trot, I discovered an awful horror. The horse i was on was too small for me! The stirrups reached under the belly. I couldn't kick it! And if i took my feet out of the stirrups, i would fall. So now what?

then, i did something that, looking back, was very, very stupid. I thought, if my feet wont work, try squeezing it with my legs! Yeah, that'll work! So, i did that, which would have been fine, if i hadnt leaned forward as well...sending the horse into a gallop. Yeah, just great.

I was so scared. The horse was moving at the speed of light, i was going to fall off and die, or at least break my femur, and all i could do was hang on for dear life. The young women were yelling at me to slow down, but i was panicking so bad, i couldnt do anything but think AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! And then i saw that we were galloping towards the fence. Somehow, my brain formed a coherent thought: either the horse will run into the fence and break something, or it will jump over and break its leg in the ditch on the other side. That scared me even MORE because not only did i not want the horse to get hurt (and my family to have to pay the medical bills) but i also knew i would fall off if it jumped. That was enough to make me move. I yanked at the reins, pulling the horse into a halt, about five yards from the fence. (Poor horse.) 

So, needless to say, my first riding "lesson" was a DISASTER. Oh, well, at least I got some jelly beans out of the whole thing. :)

 

Story number two (last one for now!)

When my grandpa was young, he lived in Los Lunas (or was it Grants?), New Mexico. He and his brothers would go explore the sandy, gritty wilderness that housed many slithering, scaly creatures. *shudder* (i dont like deserts). Anyway, one day, he and his brothers found a nest of baby rattlesnakes. Fun fact: baby snakes are more dangerous than adult snakes! Babies dont know how to control their venom, so when they bite, they inject ALL of it.

So, when my grandpa and his brothers found the rattlesnakes, instead of running and screaming like sensible people, they crowded around them and started poking them with sticks. One boy's stick had a piece of cloth on it. A snake bit down on it and got stuck. The boy started flinging the stick around, trying to get the snake off. (Why didnt he just drop the stick? First of all, he was poking sticks at a nest of rattlesnakes. That should tell you alot about his intelligence). 

Anyway, everyone screamed and ran (finally). And thus the game Rattlesnake Tag was invented. Someone would get a rattlesnake (from the nest. They carted the snakes down to their house in a bucket and kept them under the porch) on a stick, then, they would try to tag someone with the snake. Whoever fot tagged was the new rattlesnake holder. Oh, goodie.

This went on for some time, until the mother found out, and called pest control. And that was the end of Rattlesnake Tag, aka Death by Creepy, Slithering Reptile on a Stick. Yeah. Boys are soooo smart, aren't they?

What i find surprising is that no one got bitten. That was truly a miracle.

 

 
__________________

*siggy under construction*

*warning*

*Author is crazy*

*You have been warned*

 

 

HI!

I'm the Dragoness!

First thing you should know about me: I am forever and always a

PROUD MORMON

Dare to be a Mormon,

Dare to stand alone,

Dare to have a purpose firm,

Dare to make it known. 

 

Now, on to business!!

 

Fun fact:  I am actually two people in SoD: Heather Autumnsword (picture pending)

and Sapphire Wraith

The Dragoness's picture

HEATHER AUTUMNSWORD

          My Dragons: *work in progress*

                       midnight--------Titan Deadly Nadder

                       Midnight---------Sand Wraith (just pretend she's a night fury, okay?)

                       Shockwave-------------Screaming Death

                       Scauldy-------------Scauldron

                       Skullcrusher-------------Rumblehorn

                       Siren--------------Deathsong

                       Lancelot-----------Armorwing

                       Bluetooth------------Shockjaw

                       Fangster--------------Monstrous Nightmare

                       Icyfire------------Hideous Zippleback

                       Barf and Belch------------Hideous Zippleback

                       Sane and Insane------------Hideous Zippleback

                       Sane and Insane------------Hideous Zippleback (due to a glitch I have two dragons w/ the

                       Spitfire---------------------Singetail                    same name)

                      Zippy------------Hideous Zippleback

                       Sausage----------Gronkle

                       Stormfire---------Skrill

 

 

The Dragoness's picture

My profile pic (a stunning beauty) was made for me by the amazing, talented Katarile! 

For the backstory on this character, click here: http://forum.schoolofdragons.com/content/dragoness-backstory-fanfiction#comment-697687

 

 

 

 

Here are my ALL-TIME favorite fandoms! (Used to be top ten, but I have too many things I love!!!)

 

le fandoms...not necessarily in order of preference...

 

1. HTTYD books/movies (obviously, but I HAD to put that in there, it really is my favorite)

         The books were SO GOOD. No swearing, no (extreme) violence (does getting eaten by a lava dragon that dives into a volcano count? Or Grimbeard the Ghastly killing his own son?) Okay, scratch the violence, but it really is pretty awesome. The characters are SO well put together, each with his or her own little quirks that make them unique, and they’re all (mostly) lovable in their own way (Alvin and Exellinor are irredeemable). The little lessons Cressida Cowell teach by inserting them into the plot are truly inspired. Can’t wait for her to write more!!! (Also, I love the quirky way she capitalizes random words to make them a little bit more important. It’s just funny to me.)

          The movies I mainly love because all the characters are so lovable, and because ever since I have wanted a Night Fury of my Very Own. And honestly, Race To The Edge was a pretty decent, except—*gag*—for all the mushy romance—*retch*—I’m sorry, I can’t stand that stuff. *retch*

 

2. Brotherband Chronicles

3. Ranger's Apprentice

4. The Ever Afters (EAS)

5. Narnia

6. Pete's Dragon

7. Brave (Merida)

8. Harry Potter

9. Spirit Animals

10. Wizards of Once

11. The Dragon with a Chocolate Heart

12. The Frog Princess/The Wide-Awake Princess

13. Leven Thumps

14. The Land of Stories

15. Keeper of the Lost Cities

 

Wait, don’t go...

Did I forget to...Yeah, I did. I didn’t warn you did I? Okay. Ahem.

THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE LITTLE EXPLANATIONS OF MY FANDOMS. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. #sorrynotsorry

 

One thing you must learn about me VERY fast is that I love spoilers and will hunt them down at every opportunity. I also enjoy giving spoilers and withholding them on a whim. I know, I’m cruel.

jenniemkitty's picture
jenniemkitty
Offline
Supreme Viking Champion
Joined: 06/03/2017
YASS! Here we go! :) The

YASS! Here we go! :)

The first story is about how sport crazy people are where I live :)
So several years ago (this is a story I heard, not my experience) some people moved in from a rival state that had just beat my state for some big game, I don't remember what, anyway they put a sign up up in their yard supporting the rib state. Each day someone would drive up onto their lawn and run it over XD they'd put it back I and it would be run over again XD I feel sorry for those people, but it's still funny, lol XD

HARRY POTTER SPOILERS IN THE NEXT STORY!!!
Story #2! Hogwarts exeptance letter:
When my older sister turned 11, my Dad thought it would be fun to secretly plant a Hogwarts exeptance letter in the fireplace. He thought it would be just a good laugh and smile. Nope. We thought it was legit. When she found the letter, we were all over the palce, screaming, sobing, at the top of the world. We were sooooo happy and exited. Of course i was like 'if she got a letter, I might get one toooooo!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!' I begged her to bring back all the magiccal stuff she could, told her to write as much as she could telling us everything, and asked if I could help name her pet.

then we found it.

a problem.

It said Dumbledore was headmaster.

We had already finished the series.

Dumbledore was dead.

Our hearts broke. They came crashing down.

Cat was out of the bag. Dad (rather fearfully, hahaa, beware the wrath of the fangirls) told us he had put it there as a joke. Needless t say we were very mad at him.

soooo ya!

:)
Heehee, I'll be posting more soon ish :)

__________________

 Siggy (Always) Under Construction

^ By the AMAZING TosiLohi! (I know right? Awesome! -squeel- )

CloudStream welcomes you to my siggy!

She protects the art here, so dont try and take anything! :) 

 

 

Thanks SOO much to Rebell for making my Profile Picture dragon edit!!!

 

Hello! I am jenniemkitty! I'm always open to chat, but may not get back to you super quickly. I am a bit of a goofball sometimes...so you have been warned. =-)

(warning:this siggy is long. Prepare yourselves.)

(another warning: bit of an art hoarder E)

 

 

My Q&A 

(click the words)

 

 

A little about me:

 

I am crazy about...

Everything Httyd of Course! - Httyd, Httyd 2, Rtte, SoD, and looking forawrd to HTTYD3! (I also play Rise of Berk) I would like to add that the Fanfiction 'A Matter of Perspective' by Squiid is really good you should read it :) (It's about Viggo's backstroy)

Harry Potter (i am completly nuts about this and have always been, and if you are too, I always love to talk to other Potterheads! =-) More about Harry potter stuff down lower, about half of the way down & at the bottom in the funny's)

Rangers Apprentice (not many people have heard about this book seiries, but it is Awesome! )

 

 

Pet Peves:

Judging other people

swearing

insulting (on purpose, sometimes people do it on accident, but as long as they apoligize they should be forgiven.)

Bugging

I may get mad if you do these. 

 

 

I'm a Mormon!

- questions and chatting are welcome

- Antagonizing me is not

- one important thing you should know is that there are many untrue rumors about Mormons on the internet.

***************************************************************************************************************

 

Im a part of...

 

Sunwing Voagers!

Thunderclan warriors!

 

My Viking OC

 

Name: Geveda

Apearence: scroll down a little and you'll see the artwork!

 Personality in a nutshell:

- friendly

- compasionate

-loyal, but it takes time for her to become loyal to others/trust others

- weird,but in a good way

- (sometimes strange) sense of humor

- avoids harm to others when possible

-  can be somewhat socially akward

- tends to talk to much 

Long version:

Personality: freindly, but socialy akward, loyal, compasionet, weird but in a good way, its part of her charm, with a sense of humor that sometimes leaves her standing akwardly when no one gets it. She is a very loyal person, and will not switch to the opsoing team, give away information, or help them if she is on the side she knows is good. However, while she is very loyal, it takes some time to for her to trust someone, and until then is figuring out if they are a good person to trust. There are reasons, however, that will get  her to break the rules, for example, going off to free trapped and caged dragons from dragon hunters despite being told not too (thats how she met CloudStream). She hates any kind of serious harm to people, which is why her arrows (more about them later on in siggy) only freeze the targets, not hurt. She also will try to get people to aviod injuring others when possible.

^ This awesome drawing was done by Fireflash! Thank you sooo much!

=-)

 

^ By Alina Wildfire! Thank youuuuuu!

 

 

^ by Katarile! Thank you! Your art is awesome! =)

Main Weapon

A large bow with flightmare frost balls tipped on the end of her arrows. The balls are flightmare frost coated in some hard substance (differs depending on the purpose). When they hit something, they burst open and freeze whatever it is touching 

***************************************************************************************************************************

 

Dragon Art!!!

 

CloudStream

My Woolly Howl (and my favorite, don't tell the others!)

  

 

 

 

          

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                            ^ Thanks so much to Arrowalker for this amazing dragon! ^^

 

 ^ This drawing is made by Alexadragonfire! Thank you!!! (skillz!)

Thanks SOOOO much to Rebell for making this! (also my profile pic)

An incredbile animation of CloudStream by TosiLohi! (-squeels- E-)

 

About CloudStream: She is protective, loyal, and compasionate. She thinks of others before herself. She never shoots to kill, only injure if needed to protect. Cloudstream rescued her rider, Geveda, when she was attemting to free dragons out of cages in a dragon hunter camp. She was rather closed up at first, but warmed up to Geveda after Geveda proved to her she was trustwothy, and they formed a close bond. She loves speed and feeling the wind in her face, and often does stunts with her rider (however she pushes the limits of how daring they are, as Geveda is more catious than CloudStream)She, liker her rider, is very loyal. Her main and first loyalty lies with Geveda. It takes time and good actions for her to trust others. She is very determind and has a strong willpower.

Weaknesses: Sometimes she doesnt listen and does something anyway if she is determind to do it, which gets them in trouble sometimes. She does not give up easily, which can be bad if there is a need to stop.

 

Savidi

The tripple strike

 ^ This adorable and amazing dragon was made by LissaFish! Thanks!

 

Starlight

The Night Fury

  ^ By DukinaDragon, thank you!! (congrats on ur first edit! =-)

 

 

FireLilly

The Fireworm Queen

 

 ^ Thanks so much BoomBox74! I love it!!! Amazing!  =-)

 

 

Elska

the Tripple Strike

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

^ This was drawn by Mystery-Venomnshift - thanks!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks BoomBox74! She's adorable!

 

 

 

Dragon Screenshots

I decided to put in on a google docs instead. It was taking up to much space:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1U41ILztmSBKhJ_9rid6ntU9CIvr2fQeyKUv17c5vSNo/edit 

 

 

 

(I am a huge potter-head)

 

I am proud to be  Hufflepuff!

To Understand Hufflepuffs more, read this:

http://pottermore.wikia.com/wiki/Hufflepuff

 

My wand: 

Larch wood with a unicorn hair core, 13 ¾" and slightly yielding flexibility

My patronus: Dolphin

My Ilvermonery house: Thunderbird

 

 

 

 

THE FUNNIES:

moved to a google docs:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fJcvaIDSX0Ofe0oNd5a_hu3Rkdp9GJCOPfPT5FlKYxs/edit

ENJOY! =-)

 

 

 

-waves- THANKS FOR LOOKING THROUGH ALL OF THIS

CRAZINESS!! E) (you must have been boooored E)

Wolf and Star's picture
Wolf and Star
Offline
Supreme Viking Champion
Joined: 03/14/2014
A wild post appeared!!!

My existence.

 

 

 

 

 

TRacking for when I think of one

__________________

Welcome To My Signature

"If you live among wolves, you have to act like a wolf" -Khrushchev

In Game Name (IGN): WolfandStar

Friend Code: Not Accepting

 

(By Arrow)

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Wolf

 Art was done by Fireflash

Wolf is my in-game character. Her full name is 'Wolf and Star'. She takes on my own personality, which is quite similar to that of Lynx. During quests, Wolf loves to muck around and try to break the system by utilizing glitches- just for laughs, but she always produces reliable results. She is a fair Viking and she never uses glitches for her own personal gain. Some of my profile info will be listed below:.............

 

In Game Name:  Wolf and Star..............

Friend Code: Not Accepting...................

Clan: The Phantom Lords......................

Trophy Count (About): 7,600...............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Characters:

 

 

 

 

Lynx

 Art was done by DuskDayBreak

Lynx is bold and loud. She is like Luna Lovegood in the sense that she is rather... odd. Loud, shameless and weird. She is more animal-like than human. Lynx enjoys being flashy, showing off her skills. Once she sets her mind to something, she is naturally good at it. The problem is that she loses focus easy and doesn't like setting herself to standards. She craves adventure and can grow bored easily. She is particularly fast on her feet but has low stamina levels. She is strong and tall for her age. Lynx is stubborn and laid-back most of the time. She does not like to follow orders. Some of her skills include: being double jointed, the ability to be able to climb almost any surface, very good at mimicking animal sounds and is EXTREMELY good at sneaking around. However, there is a side to Lynx that she does not show very often. She is very lazy and selfish at times, mainly because she lacks compassion towards humankind, caring more about dragons and animals more so than humans. This tendency causes her to be merciless in the face of battle.

 

 

..............................Lyra

 .....................Art was done by Marg The Loony and Chameishida

Lyra is very sheltered and shy. She suppressed her emotion and looks down on those who do are emotional. Lyra can be rudely sarcastic at times and accidentally offend someone. Don't expect a public display of remorse. This does not mean she is feelingless though, she feels emotion, but, she is just very insecure about it. She does not like showing weakness or personal attachment, more insecurity, and less sociopathy. Though in fights, she doesn't appear to have a sense of honor and isn't afraid to fight dirty. Lyra is willing to do anything to ensure her well being, and the well being of her mother. Which could be a weakness. She values her self-preservation. She usually has her hood masking her pale delicate face, which sunburns easily and long hair.

 

 

 

Nyx

 Art was done by DuskDayBreak

One of Nyx's most defining traits is her brash and sarcastic attitude towards everything that breathes. She is the type of girl who does not have to do much to stand apart from the crowd. However, Nyx is no way an extrovert, the reason why she puts herself in social situations is purely one of two reasons, the first one being is that she wants to go people watching. Where she sits in some corner and watches people, how they react and their social cues. She just observes them, untangles their motives and finds their interests. The second reason is that she wants to show up the competition, along with being stubborn, Nyx is a show-off. The problem is, natural talent can only get you so far. Because of her years from people watching, she has become very keen on observations. Smarter than the average person, she is able to look at any given Viking and deduce a thing or two about them. Sort of like Sherlock Holmes but not nearly as skilled. With her great intelligence, comes social anxiety. Nyx buried this under layers of brashness but, this insecurity can be sorted out by the way she avoids social and emotional get-togethers. Due to her inability to express her social anxiety, Nyx finds herself at a lack of friends. She usually plays this off as her not wanting any friends but sometimes, when a dragon is your only friend, you can get lonely. The result, she makes a lot of enemies. Usually because of her showoff-ness and Brash attitude, and sarcasm. In reality, Nyx wants some friends, but she sees this as a weakness and as part of her insecurities which she buries deep inside of her and does not let anyone see. She's not edgy, she's just misguided.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aeryn Nyght

 Art was done by Tosilohi

Aeryn also has a sense of show-off-ness, an over-the-top, dramatic character. She takes any given situation, brandishes it with a flare of sarcasm and performs, drawing attention to herself all the while managing to act edgy or sweet, or however she wanted to be perceived. This need of hers to put on a show made her invaluable to the man while she was on his side. Like the theatre kid she should be, Aeryn has expertly crafted this skill of taking on different personas, and she isn't afraid to add in some cliche drama to her dialogue and actions. Constantly referencing pop-culture, Aeryn is interesting, but the tiring person to be around. The problem with her extroverted, boldness is that few get to witness the actual Aeryn, not one of her many characters. In a sense, it is quite similar to the multifaceted personality disorder, only, Aeryn recognizes her many personas. She chooses not to show anyone her true colors due to some insecurities. These different personalities are the shields she has put up for emotional protection. With Aeryn, you never know if her reactions are genuine or just part of the show.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gail Cyrek

 Art was done by Katarile

Gail is very softspoken. She does not like attracting much attention as people have a tendency to stare. She is very insecure about her face and does her best to conceal it. She gets very annoyed if someone asks about it. However, with this silence comes the ability to listen. She observes the world around her and is able to spot even the tiniest of details. This silent brilliance has made her a stellar judge of character. She reads body language very well and has a certain flare of stubbornness about her. Still, she is very dark. Generally, when she speaks, most people cannot hear what she says, which is probably a good thing because what she does say is usually pretty dark or gory. She often says random and slightly disturbing things and speaks extremely softly anyone can barely hear her. Gail seems to be pretty timid but is generally ruthless. She is a bit of a pyromaniac and will do almost anything to get her way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dragons:

 

                    Nightshade

 

...............................................................................................................................Edits were done by Rebell and Cocopuppy

 

 

 

 

             Deathstalker

 

 

......................................................................................................................Edits were done by Archer and Zikta.................  ..................................................................................

 

 

Aeryn

 Art was done by Tosilohi

Aeryn also has a sense of show-off-ness, an over-the-top, dramatic character. She takes any given situation, brandishes it with a flare of sarcasm and performs, drawing attention to herself all the while managing to act edgy or sweet, or however she wanted to be perceived. This need of hers to put on a show made her invaluable to the man while she was on his side. Like the theatre kid she should be, Aeryn has expertly crafted this skill of taking on different personas, and she isn't afraid to add in some cliche drama to her dialogue and actions. Constantly referencing pop-culture, Aeryn is interesting, but the tiring person to be around. The problem with her extroverted, boldness is that few get to witness the actual Aeryn, not one of her many characters. In a sense, it is quite similar to the multifaceted personality disorder, only, Aeryn recognizes her many personas. She chooses not to show anyone her true colors due to some insecurities. These different personalities are the shields she has put up for emotional protection. With Aeryn, you never know if her reactions are genuine or just part of the show

catiedragons
Offline
Supreme Viking Champion
Joined: 07/19/2014
owo

Heh, that Rattlesnack one reminds me...

 

(tw: animal death, gross)

My Uncle Josh had a secret "salamander collection" when he and my mom were young. Like, really big, long, slimy salamanders. And my grandpa/their dad found out when one day there was a reek coming from around my uncle's window.

My uncle kept his salamander collection somewhere by the window (idk if it was in between the screen and the glass or whatevs) and trapped them there. The poor things couldnt escape and ended up roasting to death. And from what my mom said, there were a lot of salamander carcasses collected there. Which of course, caused the reek my grandpa smelled.

Needless to say, I don't think Grandpa was very happy XD

 

I might post more later if I have time and think of any more. So here's a track! <3

__________________
 
 
 
c̡͎̞̝̞͗̏ ̸̘A̡̿̽ͤͤ̿̅ ̷̠͈͉ͪ̓̀ͫT͍͔͒ ̹͎̳͔͉ͨ͌ͨ̚Ị̯͆̌ͦ ̯̠̂Ẹ̰̯̿̈́̎̽̒͜ ̬̜̼͖͓͊ͪ͒̓͊?̹̖̹̇̂̒͆
 
 
A gif of Deceit from Thomas Sanders's Sanders Sides YouTube series. The caption in the gif is of Deceit saying "Who's she? Never heard of her."
 
aka i moved accounts and this one is d.ead af
rip in hecking pieces