Portal 2:Long Time Passed
"Oh so NOW you're doing them? Well...ok then. Better late then never." Wheatley grumbled. He wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or relieved.
Wheatley told her "Wow! You know you're really good at those when you actually buckle down and try. That was all of the ones Chell has already done so far. I actually have to find some new ones for you."
"What are you talking about?" Thought Chell. "I'm waiting for this stuped lift to get me up there."
"Does he have you testing for him?" Chell thought. "Why don't you just hide somewhere?"
Wheatley said "Ok. I found a few more. Just- Where did she go? Hello? Where are you?" He looked around.
Wheatley looked literally everywhere the monitors and cameras reached (yes a few cameras still existed) and even everywhere in the room. EXCEPT the one spot the girl actually was.
Meanwhile because she was bored Chell thought to Harper "God this lift is slow. .....So... Are you hiding? Where did you choose?"
"So. Did you get any of the crazy stuff I found out about GLaDOS?" Chell asked. "It's super crazy. Even for Aperture. I don't even know how I feel about GLaDOS now. It's THAT weird. Also, she's been acting a little weird on top of that. It's difficult to explain but trust me it's weird."
Wheatley continued looking for a while longer still somehow not finding the person IN HIS ROOM. In the end he gave up. "Ok. Fine. Be that way. I had a plan B. anyway." What did a good test subject need? A mind, legs and arms right? He thought about it a bit then came up with a great idea. Turrets had legs and minds. No hands though. But what were hands used for in testing. Usully just carrying cubes and pressing buttons. What if the subject WAS the cube. Then they wouldn't even need hands! Brilliant! He got to work trying to bring his idea to life.
GLaDOS told Chell "If you can get me in front of him I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head. As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying I should be ok. ....Probably."
Chell thought "YOU'RE going to try to say the paradox?" Giving GLaDOS a surprised look as she got off one lift to get on another. This time a proper Aperture elevator.
Noticing the look GLaDOS admitted "Ok so it's not the most water tight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad AI with. Still, it's a better plan then exploding. Marginally."
Chell thought. "Harper. I think I might actually be starting to respect GLaDOS a little bit. It turns out she's got the same go down fighting attitude I do. We have something in common. And she's being HELPFUL! ....THIS IS SO WEIRD!"
The upper Aperture elevator was much faster then the lower one but it still took a while to get them the rest of the way. That entire time Wheatley was so focused on trying to get his new test subjects to work correctly he did not notice the girl in his room or the suddenly moving elevator coming up from below. As Chell entered the more familiar parts of Aperture she and GLaDOS went through one of the offices that had a window into the test chambers. It was the exact one Wheatley was playing with but he still didn't notice them. Chell and GLaDOS looked through the window to see a bunch of double headed half cube/half turret monstrosities. Some of them hoped forward in random directions on legs that weren't built to move. Some had fallen on their side or back and could not do anything but flail their legs in the air.
"Well that's horrifying." Said GLaDOS. She continued "Those were likely perfectly good turrets. He ruined them in the most horrendous way possible. Now they're both a cubes with legs so they might crawl off the button after they are put there and they're turrets with no guns. Two of them I might add. He waisted two turrets for every one of those things he made."
Chell agreed that it was a little horrifying but for different reasons. Wheatley yelled "For god's sake! You're BOXES with LEGS! It is literally your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you were designed for?"
GLaDOS told Chell "Try to get us down there. I'll hit him with a paradox."
Chell thought "You want me to go down there. ......In the test chamber. ....Well.... alright. But only because I'll probably end up in there anyway and you're obviously planning on coming with me."
She turned and walked out of the room. She wasn't too worried about having trouble getting in. She just had to circle it until she found a way. It was much easier to break into a test chamber than it was to break out of one. Wheatley continued talking to the frankencubes "Warmer. Warrrmmer. Boiling hot. Boiling-ok colder. Ice cold. You're Arctic now. Very very very cold. LOOK JUST GET ON THE BUTTON! Oh that's funny is it? That's funny? Because we've been at this for twelve hours and you haven't solved it ether, so I don't know why you're laughing. YOU'VE GOT ONE HOUR! SOLVE IT!"
Wheatley turned his attention away from the irritating cubes. It was then that he noticed a glow behind a pannle. He lifted that pannle and saw the girl "What the? YOU! Have you been in here the whole time? Why didn't you say anything? Ah. Well now that I found you these new cubes are driving me crazy. Can we please- ....What's that on your neck?"
Wheatley told her "No need to get all upset. You are in MY lair after all. I think I'm going to call it that for now on too. Sounds awesome. My lair. Ya."
Meanwhile Chell found a way into the creepy monster cube test chamber. GLaDOS told her "Solve his puzzle for him. When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox."
Chell picked up one of the cube creatures and put it on the button.
Wheatley told the girl in his room "Anyway if you don't want to be talked to don't hang out in a giant AI's lair because they will definitely-" he turned his attention away from the girl to look at a camera (he has to record the image of his face somehow). "Ha ha yes! I knew you'd solve it!" But to his surprise there was more then just monster cubes in the room.
GLaDOS called "Hey. M.oron."
Wheatley replied "Oh. Hello?"
Then GLaDOS tried her plan "Alright. Paradox time. THIS....SENTENCE....IS.....FALSE!" She yelled followed by her mumbling a rushed "Don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it." ect.
Wheatley said "Um.....True. I'll go true. Eh. That was easy. I'll be honest I might have heard that one before though. Sort of cheating."
GLaDOS snapped out of her "Don't think about it" chant to tell him "It's a PARADOX! There IS no answer! Look! This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!"
Wheatley replied "Uuum. False. I'll go false." Then everything shook and an automated voice said "Explosion imminent. Evacuate facility immediately."
Wheatley turned away from the camera in his room while saying "Hold on. I thought I fixed that." As he did so he whispered to the girl behind the pannle "Your friend is back by the way. Just thought maybe you should know." before returning his attention to Chell and GLaDOS. The automated voice started saying "Reactor core is at critical tempiture" before it got shut off. Which by the way didn't fix the problem it was warning about.
"There. Fixed." Said Wheatley unknowingly. He continued "Hey it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. It turns out I'm a little bit short... on test subjects right now. So this works out perfect. I tried using the other girl but she wouldn't stay in them. Seriously, really annoying. I'm glad most test subjects can't teleport because GLaDOS you would NOT have made ANY progress I'm telling you. Anyway." He removed a pannle blocking a door then said "aannd off we go." While Chell walked through said door Wheatley turned to the girl in his room for a second to ask "Do you want to watch too? Seeing as you're here and I can't get rid of you. I can bring down a monitor."
"Oooookkkeeey." Wheatley said. Confused. He told her "Well. I'm just going to...put this here. In case you do want to. Ok?" He brought over a monitor through which a visual of Chell and GLaDOS could be seen through whatever the nearest camera feed was. Then he turned his attention back to Chell and GLaDOS. He told them "You have no idea what it's like in this body. I HAVE to test. ALL the time. Or I get this...this itch. It must be hardwired into the system or something. Oh but I tell ya. When I DO test. Oooohh man alive! Nothing feels better. It's just- I've gotta test. I've gotta test."
"Uh oh." Said GLaDOS for she knew EXACTLY what he was talking about. And it worried her. Chell looked her way and thought "Uh oh what? UH OH WHAT?!" because if GLaDOS said uh oh. That meant this was bad and it wasn't just creepy which was Chell's first assumption.
Wheatley continued "So....you're gonna test. And I'm gonna watch. And everything is gonna be JUST....FINE."
The automated voice came back and said "Warning. Core overheating. Nuclear meltdown imminent."
"SHUT UP!" Yelled Wheatley.
GLaDOS told Chell "I think we're in trouble."
"Why? WHY? Come on GLaDOS don't leave me hanging!" Thought Chell as she entered a test chamber with the word TEST written big on the walls and a button. Just a button.
Chell thought "Harper? GLaDOS said we're in trouble. That is bad! It's bad any time GLaDOS says anyone is in trouble potato or no potato!"
Wheatley told Chell "Designed this test myself. It's a little difficult." Chell walked over and pressed the button. A cube dropped from the ceiling and fell on a larger button in the distance then the door on the other side of the chamber opened. In response to Chell's solving the test Wheatley made a noise that....well...lets just say it made Chell uncomfortable. Chell thought "Did...did he just. Oh god why. Ok I do NOT want to be in here anymore. That's THE most DISTURBING thing I have come across all day and I watched a friend turn into that monster so that means a lot! Harper. I think Wheatley needs an...intervention. He seems to have a problem. Then again I don't want to know how he'd react to an intervention while he's still in the mainframe so maybe it's not a good idea."
After congratulating her in a way that made her even more uncomfortable Wheatley told Chell "Here's an idea. Since making tests is difficult why don't you keep solving THIS test? Same one. And I can just....watch you solve it. Yes. That sounds much easier." He opened a few pannles allowing Chell to go back around to the beginning. "Can I say no to this? Do I have a choice? Probably not." Thought Chell. She looked for any other way to go but there wasn't one so she followed Wheatley's instructions. This time however Wheatley said "Aaaaand. Nothing. Alright. Can't blame you for trying. Okkeeey. New tests. New tests. Gotta be some tests around here somewhere. Ah. Here we go!"
GLaDOS said "Alright so my paradox idea didn't work."
"I DO hope you didn't just notice that now." Thought Chell as she stepped into an elevator.
"And it almost k.illed me." GLaDOS added. To which Chell thought "It WHAT?! Is THAT why you didn't say anything after yelling at Wheatley? You were still trying not to think about it? Ah jeez. Sorry for judging you there."
GLaDOS continued "Luckily by the looks of things he knows as much about test building as he does about logical contradictions."
((Insert drug PSA here. You know I kind of forgot how messed up this part of the game was. And that I would have to type it. :p Fun showing Chell's horrified reaction though because however you spin that scene, even if your mind doesn't go right in the gutter, it is disturbing))
"AAAAH!" Wheatley yelled in response. Then he looked at the girl and said "What's wrong with you?! Bloody h.ell that hurt. I didn't even know something so small could make a noise so ear wrenching. I'm trying to watch the testing. If you aren't going to be a help with testing do you have to be a hindrance?"
Still mostly just annoyed with the interruption Wheatley asked "Did you just damage yourself trying to walk across the room? What are you made of paper?"
"You should probably get both of those looked at." Wheatley told her. Gesturing to both her mouth and the leg then he said "Hold on a minute." in order to tell Chell and GLaDOS (who were just entering the next chamber) "It's alright. Everything's good. I just invented some more tests."
GLaDOS snapped "This is one of MY tests!"
Wheatley told her "Not entirely not entirely. Look at the word test there? On the wall? That's brand new."
((Even GLaDOS hates art theft. XD I assume she considers her tests art anyway. Disturbing disturbing art. :p))
Chell gave GLaDOS a poke to get her attention then gave her a mischievous "Watch this." Type of grin before portaling, portaling again and then flinging herself right into Wheatley's monitor. Smashing it. Wheatley said "Aw. Bless your little primate brain. I'm not actually in the room with you. Am I? Technology. It's complicated. Can't hurt the big old god face." He turned to the girl in his room and told her "Did you see what your friend just did? Absolutely silly. Am I right?"
GLaDOS asked Chell "That was probably more amusing than it should have been. Seriously though. What WAS that? You could hurt yourself which really wouldn't help our odds."
Chell gave her a "You'll figure it out very soon." kind of look.
"That is....factually untrue." Wheatley told her. He paused to disturb Chell with his reaction to test solving again then turned back to the girl in his room and told her "Sorry. Just had to watch that or there would have been no point to doing it. Anyway the point is. There's a freaking huge AI in the room with you. I'd h.ardly call that alone."
Meanwhile as Chell stepped into the elevator she tried really h.ard not to think about a few things.
GLaDOS told her "Okay so the bad news is the tests are MY tests now. So they can k.ill us. The good news is....well, none so far to be honest. I'll get back to you on that."
Thankful to have a distraction from her previous thoughts Chell thought "Ya. You have to go through your own tests now. Kind of ironic isn't it."
"You could always join those two if you want." Said Wheatley motioning twords the monitor in the room. Of course clearly what he was talking about was what was being shown by the monitor and that was GLaDOS and Chell. This was an action that sounded just as awful as most of Wheatley's other actions but deep down it was not being done for the same reason. There was that little flicker of emotions again. The ones corrupted Wheatley had called uncomfortable. Some part of him genuanly wanted to help. Just like old Wheatley. But this part of him was so held back by the corruption that even though what it wanted to say was "Chell's still alive. She cares." all it could do was cause Wheatley to kind of subcosiously point the girl to Chell while he was bugging her about testing.
As Chell entered the next chamber GLaDOS told her "I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't. Sorry. You're on your own."
"Gonna explain why?" Thought Chell. Then they walked into a chamber that didn't even have a proper floor. No pannls no acidic goo. Just a pit of nothing. Wheatley told them that he had made it out of a bunch of smaller tests.
"A frankentest." Thought Chell.
However Chell had only just started when Wheatley became impatent. "Alright this is taking too long. I'll just tell you how to solve the test. You see that button over there? You just need to-" Wheatley let out a scream that made Chell jump.
GLaDOS told her "And that's why I can't help you solve the test."
Chell looked at GLaDOS horrifyed. "YOU GET ELECTRICUTED??!!! WHY? WTF!"
Wheatley gasped (even though he didn't have lungs which made no sense) and said "Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself."
Wheatley himself didn't notise it nearly to the extent the girl did. He just focused on the test. Chell had been feeling kind of sorry for Wheatley the more she learned about how messed up the mainframe was but on his next creepy reaction to the test finish Chell instantly became annoyed with him again. It's not that she stopped feeling sorry for him. She just had the annoyed on top of that.
GLaDOS meanwhile responded to Wheatley's "good job" with a "Thanks. All we had to do was pull that lever."
Wheatley corrected "What? No. You pressed that b-" which prompted another shock.
GLaDOS giggled and said "I know we're probubly in a lot of trouble and probubly about to d.ie. But that was worth it."
"You're evil you know that?" Thought Chell.
The recovering Wheatley asked weakly "What is it with you and grabbing me? Oh wait. That's just a human thing isn't it? Sensitive hands and all. ....Doesn't electricity hurt you guys? Especially if it's enough to hurt me?"
It was probably the most honest from himself question he had asked since becoming corrupt if only because it didn't clash with that corruption for once. Still, the reason he thought he was asking and the reason he WAS asking were two different things.
Deep down Wheatley was very concerned but outwardly he was just confused. He told her "You....are a weird WEIRD women."
Meanwhile GLaDOS told Chell "I thought of some good news. He's going to run out of test chambers eventually. I never stockpiled them."
Chell thought "I'm not sure that IS good news considering what you did to people you were done testing. He could end up throwing us in a firepit or something out of frustration when he runs out of ideas. But hey if the thought of his running out of test chambers makes you feel better. Go for it."
As they got off the elevator Wheatley yelled "Coming! Coming! Don't start yet!" Chell walked into the room anyway and saw Wheatley move Harper to the side of his room. (Cuz you know he decided to use the Aperture version of Skype to test with which allowed Chell to see into his room just as well as he could see into the test chambers.)
"Harper?! WHY is she in THAT room? She didn't decided to hide THERE did she?" Thought Chell "If she ends up hurt I am going to be so-"
Noteing the look on Chell's face GLaDOS whispered "Uh oh. That's your friend isn't it? Don't loose your cool. This would be a very bad time to do that."
Chell gave GLaDOS a look of annoyance for her saying the obvious but she was also right so Chell put on her poker face. The same one she had used against GLaDOS earlier in fact.
Wheatley told them "You're not going to believe this. I found a sealed off wing. Hundreds - HUNDREDS of perfectly good test chambers. Just sitting there! Filled with skeletons. Shook them out. Good as new."
Chell dropped her poker face to give GLaDOS a "Seriously?" kind of look. She knew who was responsible for that.
GLaDOS replied to both the look she was getting and Wheatley's find "Skeletons. Right. I guess I DID stockpile some tests."
Chell facepalmed. "You forgot that you stockpiled hundreds of tests?! What do you even lie to YOURSELF or something?!" She thought. Everything shook as Wheatley smashed another test chamber into the one Chell was in as his way of making a new one. A cascade of pannles fell from the point of collision. As the damage ended GLaDOS added "Just as mementos though." as if she had never stopped talking.
Wheatley said "Aaand there we have it. Be honest. You can't even tell can you? Seamless."
Chell would have disagreed with this but her mind was still stuck on what GLaDOS had said "You had a wing of hundreds of test chambers full of SKELETONS as MEMENTOS?! That's not even your usual serial k.iller stuff. That's like ACTUAL serial k.iller stuff. GLaDOS you are MESSED up. I now know there's a chance it's not your fault but still. You are messed up."
Wheatley told her "You nearly k.illed yourself." Suddenly he spun around and looked at the monitor in the room before saying "Aw. AW really? Your friend just destroyed a second monitor. A side note GLaDOS put on her file does say she was a real menace to cameras. I hope this isn't going to become a thing with monitors too. They are so much more expensive. Oh I know. I'll use reverse psychology. That ought to stop her." He told Chell "You know what I have too many of around here? Monitors. I was just thinking earlier today I wish I had fewer monitors that were working. So you're actually helping me by smashing them." He turned back to the girl in his room and said "Ha HA! Nailed it. What do you think? Do you think that will stop her because I think that will stop her."
((It won't stop her. XD))
Wheatley took his eye off the girl to watch the test being solved. But for some reason he didn't have the reaction he'd had before. He said "Oh. Disappointing."
As Chell headed to the elevator GLaDOS told her "Oh no. It's happening sooner than I expected."
"WHAT is happening sooner than you expected?" Thought Chell. Noticing the look GLaDOS added "I'm sure we'll be fine."
"Liar." Thought Chell. Then a odd thought hit her and she wondered "Wait. Was that an attempt to reassure me?! Did GLaDOS just try to reassure someone without it being a lead in to some horrible deathtrap she made? Was she being....NICE? ...... Nah. It can't be. She probably only wants to keep me from freaking out because I'm the one carrying her."
Wheatley noticed the girl in his room being weird again "Um....You're glowing again. You know that?" He asked.
"Jeez! Sorry for asking." Wheatley snapped.
Meanwhile despite Chell giving her best "tell me what we're in for" look GLaDOS told Chell "It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out."
Chell thought "GLaDOS looking for a way out of her own test chambers. The irony thickens. Wait...just how IS she going to do that? Is she WiFi compatible in potato form or something?"
Her thoughts were cut short by Wheatley saying "Alright. So that last test was....seriously disappointing. Apparently being civil isn't motivating you. So let's try things her way. Alright? Fatty. Adopted fatty. Fatty fatty-no parents."
"And?" GLaDOS asked.
"What?" replied Wheatley to which GLaDOS asked "What exactly is wrong with being adopted?"
Chell stared at GLaDOS in disbelief. The AI was defending her? At the risk of angering monster Wheatley?
Wheatley said "Wha-What's wrong with being adopted? Uh um. Well...lack of parents for one and also...nothing. Some of my best friends actually are orphans. But-" It seemed even corrupted Wheatley realized he had taken that a little too far and he felt bad about it. This moment of conscience did not last long however.
GLaDOS whispered to Chell "For the record. You ARE adopted and that's terrible. But just work with me." Then she told Wheatley "Also, look at her you m.oron. She's not fat." and just like that Wheatley snapped right back into being evil "I AM NOT... A M.ORON!!!" he yelled. Barely able to restrain his anger he continued "Just...do the test! Just do the test!"
Chell thought "Harper? Did you see what GLaDOS just did?"
((For the record I do not agree with GLaDOS that being adopted is terrible. That was a cannon to the game line. It's only terrible when someone who wants/needs to be adopted doesn't get adopted.))
Wheatley however was too wrapped up in what he was doing to notice.
"It's not his fault Harper." Chell thought as she solved the test. "I still want to break one of his monitors though."
Wheatley made a noise of frustration before saying "It's not enough! If I'm such a m.oron why can't you solve a simple test?"
"I DID solve it." Thought Chell.
GLaDOS noted "I think I pushed the m.oron thing a little too far this time."
"Screw it." Thought Chell as turned around at the door to break a monitor before leaving.
Wheatley rolled his eye and told her "To clarify I was being a little bit facetious about wanting to get rid of the monitors. They're actually really quite useful. So I do want them around. So..if you could just avoid...smashing them."
Chell went to the elevator. Grinning.
GLaDOS told her "So when I said I think I pushed the m.oron thing so far YOUR response was to add injury to insult?"
Chell just grinned more.
"If I could shake my head at you right now I would." said GLaDOS
Chell thought "No. Seriously Harper. I don't think he has control of himself right now. Remember how I said GLaDOS has been acting weird? She just defended me. She has been acting weird since she came out of the mainframe and now she has even gone as far as to defend me. The mainframe is the problem. Not Wheatley."
Because the subconscious of anyone is not something that is use to being spoken to the girl's first message back wasn't a word but a feeling of surprise. Then came a flood of "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything!"
Meanwhile Wheatley himself was still very focused on trying to get the results he wanted from testing.
As Chell approached the next chamber GLaDOS took note of the tune floating through the air and said "Oooh. Now he's playing classical music." When they actually entered the room there was the sound of pages being turned and Wheatley claimed to be reading high class books and even claimed to doubt it when he asked GLaDOS if she had read a particularly h.ard one and then she said yes.
Chell thought "Wow. GLaDOS. You were right about taking the m.oron thing too far. I think he's trying to prove you wrong now. ....I'm going to break another monitor. Just because of this."
When she did this Wheatley said "Yes. Alright. Ok. This is getting tiresome. Honestly? I'm-I'm surprised you haven't got anything better to do. I know I have. But...um You've what've you done. You've proven that you can break screens. It's proven. Well done. Factual. Well done. Good. Aren't you little miss clever. Little miss smashy smash."