Portal 2:Long Time Passed
To be honist. Wheatley wasn't sure he wanted to do this. Something in him still hesitated while other parts of him compelled him to do it. Torn between two extreems and finding it uncomfortable to be there he suddenly became angry though he didn't know WHY he had become angry. Wheatley yelled "ARRG! STOP making me uncomfortable!" He mentally shoved the hesitating part of him out of the way then dropped the girl into a cleaned up version of the same test track Chell had jumped into shortly after she had woken up. Unknown to Wheatley this was also the same test track GLaDOS had put Chell through before the first conflict ((A.K.A. during portal 1)). It started off really easy and that's why Wheatley picked it. Chell's sister was the only test subject he had. He didn't want to k.ill her off.
Meanwhile Chell listened to more audio from Cave Johnson. He talked about a control group for the perpultion jell breaking their legs, people being turned into mantis men, the fact that aparently old Aperture was full of asbestos and all sorts of other awful things Aperture did to people. In fact it seemed like the only person who Cave Johnson really cared about was Caroline. Although his mention of her was rare compaired to his talking about awful things when he did talk about her it was always positive twords her. To avoid thinking about the fact that she was probubly being exposed to all sorts of horrible things that could make her ill later in life Chell wondered once again what had happened to Caroline. It didn't really work because the next splat of gell she ran into she was imeedeitly reminded of the fact that apparently repultion gell had something in it that didn't like the human skelington to the point that Mr. Johnson had said not to get covered in it. ....Even though aparently it had once been marketed as a diet jello substitute according to a poster she had seen. Man was this place messed up.
((Chell will find GLaDOS next post. Also spell check being slow so spelling errors are more present than usuall))
Chell was climbing a tower. She had just walked into an old office when she heard a familiar voice say "Oh. Hi." Chell turned and couldn't beleive her eyes. It was potato GLaDOS who continued "Say. You're good at murder. Could you-ow-murder this bird for me?" for in the time it took for Chell to get up there the bird had decided to come back to the nest and peck at her. Chell hesitated as she really didn't want anything to do with GLaDOS.
GLaDOS begged "No, Wait. Just k.ill it and we'll call things even between us. No h.ard feelings. ...Please get it off me."
In the end Chell figured enough had happened to the AI already so she walked over and waved the bird away.
"Oh! Thanks." Said GLaDOS which kind of suprised Chell. GLaDOS rarely if ever thanked anyone. Chell guessed she must be in pretty poor spirits for this to be enough to allow that to happen.
"Hey Harper. I found POTaTOS." Chell thought.
Without warning all of Aperture shuttered.
Up above Wheatley asked "What was that? Did you feel that too or am I just imagining things?"
Down bellow GLaDOS asked Chell "Did you feel that? That ideot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him."
"THIS PLACE IS GOING TO EXPLODE?!!!" Thought Chell.
GLaDOS continued "I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body you're going to need me to replace him. We're at an impasse."
"Thanks for that mental image. Bleck." Thought Chell. GLaDOS asked "So what do you say? You carry me up to him and put me back into my body, and I stop us from blowing up and let you go."
Chell raised an eyebrow and gave the AI a VEEEERY suspisious look. GLaDOS NEVER let ANYONE go. Chell didn't trust her word at all. But at the same time. What if the whole place really was about to explode? Everyone would d.ie. Well...those few who weren't already dead anyway but still.
GLaDOS persisted "No tricks. This potato only generates 1.1 volts. I litterally do not have the energy to lie to you."
Somehow Chell managed to contort her face into an even MORE suspisious glare. "How do I know THAT'S not a lie?" she thought.
GLaDOS added "Even if I am lieing what do you have to lose? You're going to d.ie ether way. .....Look I don't like this any more than you do. In fact, I like it less because I'm the one who got partially eatten by a bird."
Chell dropped her suspisious look. She was still suspisious but that small twinj of sympathy she had felt for GLaDOS when Wheatley was putting her in that form hit her again. She sighed and thought "Harper? Can you hear me? I know you're probubly busy keeping Wheatley busy but what do you think? GLaDOS says the place is going to explode without her in control and she looks really pitiful right now. Should I save her?"
Wheatley looked around the cameras and said "Wha? Where'd she go? Ay! Where'd you go?" He heard footsteps then turned to her "What are you doing? We're suppose to be testing." He asked as if this was a normal every day thing and he hadn't just thrown her in there against her will.
Down in lower Aperture Chell was still kind of on the fence about rescuing GLaDOS. As a last final attempt to get Chell on her side GLaDOS told her "Listen to me. We had a lot of fun antagonizing each other."
"FUN?!" Thought Chell.
GLaDOS continued "And yes sometimes it went too far. But we're off the clock now. It's just us talking. Like regular people. And this is no joke. We are in trouble."
Chell sighed and rolled her eyes in disbeleif of what she was going to do. She still wasn't sure of things but she figured there could be no harm in at least carrying GLaDOS for a little while. It's not like the AI could do anything to her in that form. So...she picked GLaDOS up and because portal guns are really two hand tools she stuck GLaDOS' potato on one of the portal gun's front prongs.
GLaDOS snapped "OW! You stabbed me! What is wrong with yo-" Her voice went all weird for a second then she continued "Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium. It feels like I'm outputting an extra half volt. Keep an eye on me. I'm going to do some scheming. Here I-" GLaDOS suddenly shut off.
Chell thought "I don't know what's more disturbing. The fact that she aparrently has a sense of touch in that potato or the fact that she warned me to keep an eye on her because she was going to do some scheming." She turned her attention elsewhere and thought "Harper! I....um....I'm now carrying GLaDOS and I don't know how I feel about it."
"Well NOW what are you doing?" Wheatley asked.
"WHAAAAAAT?" Said Wheatley "No you're not. I'm way bigger than you. And more deadly."
Down below GLaDOS woke up "Woah. Where are we? How long have I been out?"
"Not long but I don't know why you're asking me that given my lack of speech." Thought Chell.
GLaDOS said "That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think too h.ard I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in the atomic fireball that little idiot is going to-" GLaDOS shut off again.
"Lovely." Thought Chell sarcastically.
"Uh....ok." Said Wheatley falling for it completely. He grabbed her then immediately dropped her "OW! Bloody- How? Why? What was that for?" He asked.
At the top of the next elevator GLaDOS woke up again. "Did anything happen while I was out?" She asked. Chell shrugged and shook her head no for not much had happened. They entered one of the old test chambers and Cave Johnson's recording said "The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through the quicker you get your sixty bucks."
Hearing the voice GLaDOS started "Hold on. Who-?" She had the weird feeling she knew that voice.
Cave Johnson continued "Caroline, are the compensation vouchers ready?"
"Yes sir. Mr. Johnson." Replied Caroline.
"Yes sir Mr. Johnson." Replied GLaDOS as well. Chell froze and stared at her "WTF?" she thought.
Evidently just as confused GLaDOS said "Why did I just-Who is that? What the H.ELL is going on he---?" GLaDOS shut off. Chell stood staring at GLaDOS for a few seconds more then thought "That was weird even for Aperture."
"Pet you? You mean like a dog?" Wheatley asked.
Down below as Chell finished an old test GLaDOS woke up "Okay. I guess emotional outbursts require more than 1.6 volts. Now we know that. We just need to relax. We're still going to find out what the h.ell's going on here. But calmly."
"Does it hurt when you short out like that or is it just like fainting?" Chell wondered knowing GLaDOS couldn't hear the question.
"Aaaaannd making me uncomfortable again." Wheatley mumbled. Because he automaticly thought dog or cat when he thought petting he just happened to go for the girl's head when he tryed to pet her.
Now that GLaDOS was on Chell kind of regretted putting her on the gun facing her direction. It was creepy to have that yellow eye always stareing at her. But given the fact that GLaDOS had a sense of touch in that form Chell wasn't going to try to turn her around. As they listened to more of Cave's recordings GLaDOS mumbled "I SWEAR I know him." Chell wondered how that would be. GLaDOS didn't come online untill after Cave Johnson d.ied.
"AH HA! I have found it!" Said Wheatley victoriously. "By the way that's a very weird weakness. Did someone put that in you?"
Meanwhile Chell was listening to Cave Johnson offer some poor past people sixty dollars if they let them do some kind of probably horrifying operation
"Looks to me like I already am sweetheart." Wheatley replied. Then he said "Actully. That sounds really creepy in this context. Like, not even cool creepy. Just creepy creepy. I apoligize." but he kept up the petting. He really didn't want to get burned again.
Down below the recording of Cave Johnson said many things that were rude about poor people. Even going as far as to wonder why he was thanking these people who risked their lives for his science. Chell was quickly deciding she did not like Cave Johnson much. She had been ok with him before but BOY was he a jerk in these recordings.
He continued "If you have any belongings please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building. For many of you, I realize 60 dollors is an unpresidented windfall so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?"
"What a jerk. What a serious jerk. I had no idea how much of a jerk he was." Thought Chell annoyed. GLaDOS however apon hearing the name Caroline fell deep into thought. Voiceing some of said thoughts she said "Caroline. Caroline Caroline. WHY do I know this women? Did I k.ill her? Or- .....Oh my god. Look you're doing a great job. Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think."
Chell thought "Um. I've been doing things myself for a while now because you're a potato and for the first part of this little adventure you weren't even consious a good chunk of the time. But ya. Ya I can do that." She did things in silence for a while. Wondering what GLaDOS was picking up about Caroline that she haddn't. Was this going to turn weird? No that was a dumb question. It was already weird. This was going to become even MORE weird wasn't it?
"Because you burned my claw and that hurt and I don't know what else to use to take you to the test chambers." Wheatley replied. Then he snaped "Will you just fall asleep or whatever you do already? This is getting weirder and weirder the longer I do it."
"Still stuck in the bowls of Aperture Harper. I promis you I am going as fast as I can." Chell thought back.
Cave Johnson's voice came on again. But he was coughing.
"This must have been after he got sick." Thought Chell and this thought was confirmed by Mr. Johnson when he explained that he had bought a bunch of moon rocks to use in a new gel. Aparrently he had been exposed to said moon rocks and they poisoned him.
"Huh. So that's how it happened. I heard he was sick and that he d.ied but I never heard how. Poor guy. At least he went down doing what he loved."
The next chamber inclooded the moon rock gel. Chell thought "Seriously?! Now I have to play with the stuff that k.illed him right after learning that it k.illed him?! It's like Aperture itself hates me! I better do my best not to let it get on me."
Wheatley picked up the girl and put her back in the test chamber she had teleported out of. While he waited for her to wake up he thought. "You know, these cameras are great but I bet I could do better." He started replacing the cameras with gigantic monitors anywhere they could fit. "Ya ha! Now my test subjects can look me right in the eye while they're testing. Non of that secretive hiding behind cameras stuff. I get to look at them they get to look at me. Fair's fair. Maybe this will stop making me feel like a creeper now."
Down below Chell thought "Whew! Glad I got through that in one peace. Seriously though. Tell me what Johnson d.ied of and then I immediately have to deal with that thing? I'm not getting over that any time soon."
The voice of Cave Johnson started talking "All right. I've been thinking."
"OMG! I think I know this one. This is his famous lemon speech!" Thought Chell and just as she had expected Cave Johnson said his lemon speech. But something she didn't expect also happened.
Cave Johnson said "When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade!"
"Ya!" Agreed GLaDOS and it just got weirder from there.
Cave; "Make life take the lemons back!"
Cave; "Get mad! I don't want you're d.am lemons! What am I suppose to do with these!"
GLaDOS "Ya! Take the lemons..."
Cave; "Demand to see life's manager!"
Cave; "Make life rue that day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the guy who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons!"
GLaDOS; "Oh I like this guy."
Cave; "I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"
GLaDOS; "BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN! Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!"
While recorded Cave Johnson coughed Chell gave GLaDOS a "You're still scary." kind of look.
GLaDOS took note of Chell's expression and snapped "If you judge me for that you're a hypocrite."
"I suppose that's fair." Thought Chell. She DID throw parts of GLaDOS into the incinerator that one time.
Done with most of his coughing fit Cave Johnson continued talking "The point is. If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now. Brain mapping. Artificial intelligence. We should have been working on it thirty years ago. I will say this- and I'm going to say it on tape so everyone hears it a hundred times a day. If I d.ie before you people can pour me into a computer I want Caroline to run this place. Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her. H.ell put her in my computer. I don't care. Alright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk."
"Goodbye Sir." GLaDOS replied to the recording.
Chell was left speechless. Well....if she could talk then she would have been left speechless. "But...but that means..." she stopped to stare at GLaDOS. Uncomfortable with the look she was being given GLaDOS told Chell "If it means anything. I'm just as surprised as you are." Chell continued to stare. GLaDOS told her "Ok. Come on. I know this is mind blowing news but isn't your friend still at the mercy of the m.oron up there?" Chell snapped to her senses and got moving again. But some of her thoughts were still on this whole Caroline thing. "Caroline is GLaDOS. CAROLINE is GLaDOS. .....HARPER! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME CAROLINE IS FREAKING GLaDOS!!! THEY TURNED CAROLINE INTO GLaDOS! WTF?! HOW? WHY? Well I know why. Cave Johnson told them to. But WHY?! And if GLaDOS is Caroline why is she so different now." Chell couldn't help but glance at the potato at the end of her gun again even though she was trying really h.ard not to stare. One last thought on the topic ran through Chell's head. "Was....was it willing or did they force her into it? I hope for her sake it was willing on her part."
Wheatley said "Ay! Now that's no fun. How am I suppost to test you if I can't see you?"
Down below GLaDOS told Chell "I know things look bleak but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back up there and MAKE him put me back in my body! And he'll probubly k.ill us because he's encredibly powerful and I have no plan."
"Never stopped me before." Thought Chell.
GLaDOS continued "Wow. I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one and that's with some generous rounding.
"Also never stopped me before." Thought Chell.
Again GLaDOS continued "Still though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode let's at least explode with some dignity."
Chell looked potato GLaDOS in the eye and grinned. "NOW you're speaking my languige." She thought. Then she realized "Wait. Did I just agree with GLaDOS? Never thought that would happen. I feel weird now."
"Not this again. Get off of me will ya?" said Wheatley.
Wheatley tried to grab her and got burned a second time. "OW! Oh. Right. I forgot about that. Go back to the test chambers! You're a test subject. Test subjects go in the test chambers. That's the rule."
"Now you're just being rude again." Wheatley told her. "Didn't your parents teach you any manners?"
"Well didn't YOUR parents....er..." He paused then admitted "Alright. That was the only one I came up with. Anyway just..." He petted her head to make her safe to pick up then put her back in the test chambers "Stay in there!"
"ARRG! STOP THAT! This is ridiculous!" Said Wheatley. "You're making this impossible! Do you realize that? Just...just go back in the test chamber. Please?"
((Remember how weirdly oblivious evil Wheatley was to how evil he was being? Ya. That's what's happening here. For some reason he thinks Harper should listen to him just cuz he says so.))
Wheatley tries to grab her off of him but for some reason the claw won't go close enough. "What the- Really now?" He checked the files wondering why this might be and came up with the incredibly frustrating answer that the mainframe actually had programing against it to prevent the central core from removing cores stuck on it. "She's not a core though!" He said irritated as if he could argue with programming. Since that didn't work however he just tried to shake her off.
"No. I'm mad because you're not taking me seriously!" Wheatley snapped "For the third time! Get off of me! I am not a chair! I know in some ways I'm kind of shaped like one but I'm not one so stop using me as one!"
"Alright good. Now will you PLEASE go back in the test chambers where you belong?" Wheatley asked.
Wheatley tried it and them legitimately cussed as he got burned before saying "Again! Why! Why again? Why do you keep doing this?"
"You burn me because I love you and you're my best friend?" Wheatley asked then continued "Is...that normal where you come from? Do people just like, burn each other and it's normal? See, cuz here that's not normal. Here people burn people they DON'T like."
Not liking the uncomfortablness that came with the girl's words Wheatley snapped "Bloody h- You're making SUCH a huge deal out of this. Do you have test anxiety or something? It's not like they're automatically deadly. They're only deadly if you mess up. At this rate your own stress will k.ill you before the tests do!"
((Wheatley being oblivious to how evil he's being again))
This time Wheatley tried to pick the girl up by gently sandwiching her between two heat resistant pannles he got from that room where GLaDOS tried to burn Chell that one time. They were not however resistant to teleporting.
"Don't move much. This is just as awkward for me as it is for you." Wheatley told her.
A small flicker of....something responded to the girl's call. But Wheatley was so far gone by this point he didn't recognize it. It freaked him out and he dropped the girl. "What was that? What did you do? Ok. You know, I thought this was going to be fun seeing as you have all these weird powers that would make things super interesting but THAT was too weird even for me and I've lived in Aperture my whole life! Congrats! You out weirded Aperture. Now get out of my room!" He shoved the girl out and slammed the door behind her. "If you won't cooperate I'll just make my own test subjects. You can just wander around bored forever for all I care! Also I'm going to rebuild the nurotoxin generator so I can get some respect around here! Now stay out of my room and stay out of my head!"
Down bellow Chell thought "Harper! Can you hear me? We've found a way into upper Aperture. All we have to do now is get it open." she used portals to fling herself to an office room in order to press a button.
GLaDOS took note of something on a wall while Chell was pressing said button. As Chell was about to leave the room GLaDOS told her "Wait! I've got an idea. That poster! Go look at it for a second would you?" Chell paused to look at the poster. At the top it said "Know your paradoxes in the event of rogue AI." then below that it had the steps "1. Stand still. 2. Remain calm. 3. scream" and below that were examples of paradoxes. "This statement is false." "New mission, refuse this mission." and finally "Does a set of all sets contain itself?"
GLaDOS tried really h.ard not to look too closely at the poster as she told Chell "Paradoxes. No AI can resist thinking about them. I know how we can BEAT him."
Chell jumped clear from the several storys up office to the ground and looked up while a huge (like wider than a house huge) hatch opened. There was a hiss of airlocks and some pipes connected to the gel tubes.
Chell thought "Oh great. I bet that means Wheatley will have access to the gel now. Looks like I still have a chance to d.ie Cave Johnson style."
A very rickety old lift came down and Chell stepped onto it. "Please don't break." She thought. As it slowly went up she thought "Well. This will take a while."