Dragon Trainers: Isle of Hunters
To anyone reading this, hello! Thanks for giving this a shot. This is my first try at a screenshot comic, so I'd love any feedback you might have on it! Please don't reply to the comic screenshot posts though, in case I need to go back and edit it.
Tracky tracky!
Yay, my first commenter! :D Sup dog? Hey, just wondering, does editing still notify you?
Tracking
Trackin'
Tracking!!
Can't wait for the next part :D you know your doing really great at this :)
Thanks, that means a lot to me :D I'll hopefully be able to get the next part up by tomorrow (or today, in my time zone )
Part 2: The Island
Aria and Brynhild land on the far side of the island.
Aria: Bryn, I need you to stay here. I can't bring you along in case the Hunters capture you. Just stay here alright?
Brynhild: *warbles sadly*
Aria: I'll miss you too girl.
Aria: Well, then, time to get this show on the road.
Aria: Ooh, pretty pond! Darn it, I don't have the time to stay.
Aria: Hmm, fork in the road. Think I'll go with left.
Aria: Great, now a three-way crossroad. Hmm... I'll go right this time.
Aria: Huh, dead end. Should probably head back.
Aria: Alright, let's try uphill this time.
Aria: Another dead end!
Aria: Time to try the straight route.
Aria: Crap, Hunter! *hides in the bushes*
Aria: Whew, he didn't see me. Alright, time to move on. I think I'll stick to the foliage this time...
Aria: Dragon cages!
Aria sneaks around the clearing.
Aria: Another Dragon Hunter!
Aria: I need a better view. Hey — benches!
Aria sneaks around and ducks under the benches.
Aria: This looks like... an auction area! Dragon auctions?
Aria: There doesn't seem to be any dragons around though. Maybe the auction's over. That's not a happy thought...
Dragon Hunter #1: Did you hear that?
Dragon Hunter #2: Hear what?
Aria gulps and quickly escapes from under the benches.
Dragon Hunter #1: I thought I heard a voice...
Dragon Hunter #2: I didn't hear anything. Your hearing must be going off.
Dragon Hunter #1: Hey! My hearing's just as good as yours!
Their voices fade as Aria puts some distance between her and them.
Aria: *bangs her helmet* So dumb! Thinking out loud when there's Dragon Hunters around.
Aria: Fen should be here — he's always been a good spy. Eh, no point thinking about that — I just need to keep moving.
Aria: The Dragon Hunter ship! The men seem pretty happy. Ugh, I don't want to think why...
Aria: Well, whatever business they have here, if it's auctioning dragons or more than that, it's nothing good. I need to tell Hiccup.
Aria: Wha — ? Umph!
Aria: Mmph! Hmph!
Aria: Mmph...
Tracking *^*
Part 3: Captured!
Aria: Wh-where am I?
The sound of dragons roaring and screeching meet her ears.
Guard #1: Be quiet! *bangs on one of the cage doors*
Guard #2: This one looks about the right age to be a Rider. Viggo will be pleased when he hears about this, I'll bet.
Guard #1: We might even get a pay raise!
Guard #1: Hey, what was — uh!
Guard #2: Wait, what — oof!
There was the sound of keys jangling, before the door in front of Aria creaked open. Someone grabbed her arm and pulled her after them.
Aria: Whoa, hold on —
Unknown: No time, just run!
Aria: Wait, that sounds like — Fen!
Fen: The one and only.
Aria: How'd you find me?
Dragon Hunters: Prisoners loose! Riders on the ship!
Fen: I'll explain later. We need to go!
Aria: Bryn!
Brynhild: *squawks happily*
Fen: No time for a happy reunion! We gotta go!
They take off into the air.
Aria: Wait! We need to go back!
Fen: Aria!
Aria: There are dragons in that ship! We can't just leave them!
Fen: Watch out!
Aria: Whoa, arrow!
Fen: Aria, I want to go back and free those dragons just as much as you do, but we're completely outnumbered! We can't do anything about it now. We'll just get ourselves captured or killed, and then Sunsong and Brynhild would be the next on their auction list.
Aria: But —
Fen: Aria, we'll get them. Just not today.
Aria: *sighs in defeat* Alright.
Aria turns back to the ship.
Aria: *softly* We'll be back.
The four of them fly away.
Whew! Just one more part left!
Tracking! :3
Tracking!
Part 4: Frustration
Two days later...
Fen: Ari?
Aria: Oh, hey Fen. You know, you never did explain how you found me.
Fen: Well, Sunsong and I were waiting for you on the sea stack, but when Brynhild came without you, we figured something was wrong. She wanted us to follow her, so we did, right to the island. I snuck around a bit and overheard something about a Rider being captured. After snooping around the island and not finding you, I decided the only place left was the ship. I snuck into the ship with Sunsong, had him blow out the torches, knocked out your guards, and voila.
Fen: But that's not what's worrying you, is it?
Aria: Hiccup and the Riders just came back from the island. They said it looked like it had been abandoned.
Fen: I'm not surprised. The Hunters would've anticipated the arrival of the Riders after our escape. I kind of expected them to run, actually.
Aria: Why didn't you tell me that earlier?
Fen: Because I knew that you would've just turned back around and taken on those Hunters. I wasn't just going to send you to your death.
Aria: But now they're gone!
Fen: Not for good. They're still around. We should just trust Hiccup and the Riders to take care of it. I'm sure they have a plan for taking down Viggo.
Aria: I'm not just going to stand around and do nothing about it!
Fen: We're not doing nothing about it. Everyone has a role in this battle, and ours is protecting the Edge while the Riders are away.
Aria: *sigh* I just wish we could play a bigger part...
Fen: We're already playing a big part. Everyone's part, no matter how small it might seem, matters, because sometimes even the smallest detail can mean victory or defeat.
Aria: I guess you're right.
Fen: Well then, let's go and play our part to the fullest. Fishlegs mentioned that he needed more boulders for the wall. Coming?
Aria: You bet!
And that's a wrap on this comic!
I personally thought it was a pretty good comic. It was a little short. If you want to know how to avoid switching back and forth between two pictures for chat scenes it's true that it isn't easy to avoid that. The ways I know of are to
A. Take a lot of shots from different angles of the same character during the conversation.
B. Little things like showing how the dragons in the background react to the world and the conversation. (this can work even if you don't have dragoneese in your storys the way I do) You could have them look away during parts they might find boring or get distracted by something in the background or they might snap to attention at an interesting part. You know, little stuff in the background so you aren't repeating the same pictures over and over. You could also draw an especially cartoony expression on the character in paint or some other drawing program for an exaggerated reaction if that is your type of thing. (Though for an especially long talk scene reusing a picture or two is sometimes impossible not to repeat at least once)
C. Another way to avoid long chat scenes is to just not make them too long in the first place or don't make them the majority of the comic. Have things happen in between the chat scenes. Not all of a story has to be conveyed though characters standing around talking. I do get that screenshot comic makers are limited in their story telling just because they have to use what is in the game but the more creative one can get with these limits the better.
Note. If you hadn't asked for advice on this I wouldn't have made this reply so long. Again I personally don't think this was a bad comic. I especially liked the photography in some places. Could it have used a little more action? Yes. But as it is it's not bad. I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks, I'm glad you thought so :) I'll definitely take note of all this advice the next time I make a screenshot comic. I've learned a lot from this first time, so hopefully the next one will be even better :) Again, thank you for writing up such a long reply. I really appreciate it, especially from a fellow screenshot comic artist.
I like these characters and how the story was constructed! The first few parts did an excellent job of establishing characters, setting, and plot. The ending felt a bit rushed, however, moving to two weeks too quickly. I have a hard time believing Fen wouldn't have explained how he and Sunsong found Aria in an entire two weeks.
And Fen's dialogue was a little on the nose with the "lesson we can learn from this story" at the end. I'm not sure that last part is a bad thing, though; I'm just used to more subtley. I think it's the lack of character traits we see about Fen in the story that make that feel a little forced. Aside from being grumpy about being woken up, he kind of acts as the voice of reason and hero without much else to him. That's more to do with the length of the story than his actual characterization, though. He definitely felt like a character, not a plot device; I just don't know him very well, so him being wise enough to talk Aria down just makes him feel a little bland. I'm looking forward to seeing more of his character and his dynamic with others in the future, if you do more of these.
Aria is awesome! I love this character! She's spirited and brave, she's got a lot of personality, and she's got a good heart for the audience to follow. And I like how she works off both her dragon Brynhild and her friend Fen.
As for as repetitive scenes, Hypergoof gave good advise to heed. And like she said, if you have a long chat scene, it's hard not to have repetitive screenshots. I personally am notorious for doing this in my comics because it takes so much time to take a bunch of screenshots, and sometimes, I just run out of time.
As Hypergoof said, taken multiple shots from multiple angles for different positions for your characters helps a lot. Usually I write a script before I take any screenshots, and when I see a long convo coming, I plant my character, take about 4 screenshots at one angle with the character in different positions, then repeat at two more angles, so I have about 12 screenshots. Then I distribute them for that character's screenshot for the moment. Saves me time in the long run while making it less repetitive. And if I do use duplicate screenshots, they're spread out a bit more.
The great thing about comics is the "show, don't tell" policy limited to visuals. You can have your characters doing things during the conversation, for jokes or to get things across so you change things up. If, say, two are talking, one might put on a mask for a joke punchline, or one of the characters is pacing so you see her moving around to different areas, and the other character has to watch. And like Hypergoof said, you can have your characters doing something in the background. (I once used this for a visual gag; in my Dreadfall comic, I had my characters looking for a Leafy Snaptrapper, which could camouflage. The Snaptrapper was in view right behind my main character Whisper, and they just thought it was a pile of leaves. While Whisper and Norbert are talking, one of the heads wakes up at the noise. The next shot with Whisper, he looks around and spots them, but they don't notice. The next screenshot with Whisper, his head is back down, resuming their leafy disguise in the hopes that they won't be spotted. Stuff like that can add a lot of flavor and visual humor.)
And if you can show the action, it's best to show rather than have the characters talk about it if possible (though I can't think of any moments where that applies here).
Also, get more flying shots. If you get shots of Fen on Sunsong while he's flying, his sitting position won't be as awkward. The best way to get flying shots is to hold down the right mouse button and drag your curser up to the tab before you let go. This will allow you to adjust your viewing positions of your dragons and Vikings in flight without having it snap to the back of them the moment you let go of the button, so you can get nice side and front view images without the mouse in the way.
Another cool trick I learned is to change your Viking's facial expressions for different moments. In the boys, it's kind of limited - there's only two faces - but girl Vikings have a multitude of facial expression you can pick from in your journal. Some expressions are great for anger, annoyance, or exasperation. A bit of tweaking in Paint can also turn that permanent smile into a straight face or frown, but I only both with that when I need the face to really show the emotion of the moment.
That's all the advice I have. Hope that helps!
It was actually only two days XD I think you might've read it wrong.
I was wondering if the last part sounded a bit like a lecture. I tend to do that; just throw the 'moral of the story' right up in people's face. Definitely should work on being more subtle.
And yup, there's a lot more to Fen than just grumpy wise man. I'm not sure how it'll play out, but hopefully more of his character is revealed as I go along. I'm glad you liked Aria though!
I think I'm too used to writing, which is a lot of exposition through dialogue and description and everything. At first, I assumed comics were about the same, but now I've realised that comics are actually pretty different. Like you said, comics work on a 'show don't tell' policy. I still need to get the hang of that.
I'll definitely try to get more shots of Fen on Sunsong next time! It's just kind of difficult on a Mac, because I have to do the whole command-shift-3 (or 4) thing, and I have to make sure I don't hold shift too long because then the dragon brakes. I'll try to holding up to the tab thing you suggested. That probably means I have to use the browser version of SoD though, which is slower. Ah well.
I just remembered about the face options! That's a great idea :D I'll definitely use that in the future.
Well, that was a whole mountain of advice, plus even some character evaluation! Thanks for taking the time to write this out :D
I still think "How did you find me?" would be the first thing Arira asked when they were out of danger, but...yeah, you're right, I did misread it. *sheepish grin*
Glad I could help. :)
Girls get a lot of expressions but boys only get a few? Wow....that's a little sexist of them for designing the game that way.
I know, right?
Really enjoying you comic :D your doing great <3 looking forward to the next part :)
I really likew this comic :D wish that there was more but still i like it for your first one! Hope you make another one soon!
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Part 1: Lands Beyond
Aria: *barges into the house* Fen Birgerson, get your lazy butt out of bed!
Fen: *muffled* Go away, Ari.
It takes Aria a good few minutes of pestering, but finally Fen is up and out of bed.
Fen: See, now you've woken up Sunsong too. Do you know how cranky he gets in the early morning?
Sunsong: *snarls and spits amber at both of them*
Aria and Fen quickly dodge out of the way.
Aria: If that's what it takes, then I have no regrets. Besides, you'll be the one dealing with him, not me.
Fen: *sarcastically* What a great friend you are.
Aria: Aww, thanks.
Fen: Not a compliment.
Aria: But taken as such!
Fen: *groans* What do you want?
Aria: We're supposed to help Spitelout scout out islands for the storehouse, remember?
Fen: And it couldn't have waited? It's barely light out, for Thor's sake.
Aria: Well, there's nothing like an early start, right? We fly out in the morning and be back by nightfall. We don't even need to bring all the camping gear.
Fen: You really think we'll be able to find a suitable island in one day? We probably won't even be able to cover more than two or three islands.
Aria: I know. That's why we'll continue tomorrow! And the day after that, and day after that, until we find the right island.
Fen: Thor help me, I'm going to be waking up this early for however long this search takes?! That'll be at least the rest of the week!
Aria: Yep.
Fen: And I don't have a choice in this?
Aria: Nope.
Fen: *sighs in defeat* Fine, let me get ready first.
Aria: Great, I'll meet you outside!
A few minutes later...
Fen: Alright, so where do you want to head to first?
Aria: I figured that we should try the islands northeast of this map today...
Fen: We won't be able to cover the entire region though. We should split up, save some time.
Aria: I'm not sure if that's entirely safe, just a dragon and its rider...
Fen: Look who's talking. You're usually the one to go head-first into dangerous stuff.
Aria: That's not true! You end up in dangerous situations just as often as me!
Fen: Because you drag me into it.
Aria: True, but there was that time —
Fen: One time!
Aria: Okay, okay, fine! What's your plan?"
Fen: I was thinking that'd I'd take the upper half of the northeast region and you'd take the lower. We meet at sundown on this sea stack in the middle, then we go home. Simple!
Aria: That doesn't sound so bad...
Fen: See? Let's go!
The four split up and fly in their respective directions.
Fen: Too hot.
Aria: Too creepy!
Fen: Too sandy.
Aria: Hey wait... whoa! A Flightmare egg!
Brynhild: *squawks in alarm*
Flightmare: *snarls*
Aria: And its mother! Okay, gotta go, gotta go!
Fen: Huh, this looks promising...
Skrill: *roars*
Fen: Aaand now not so much. Sunsong, get us out of here!
Aria: Well, the sun's going down. We should head back — wait, Bryn, hold up.
Aria: That looks like... an island. Just outside the area covered by the map. Meaning none of the Riders have found it yet! Let's go check it out!
They fly closer to the island.
Aria: Wait, something feels off... Bryn, get us into the clouds.
Aria: *pulls out her spyglass and peers through it*
Aria: Huh, it's inhabited. There's a ship...
Aria: Dragon Hunters!
Brynhild: *growls*
Aria: I know, I like them just about as much as you do. But whatever they're doing here, we need to check it out.